THE GOSPEL OF MARTHA
Recorded by Anna Zubkova.
Edited by Vladimir Antonov.
Edited by Vladimir Antonov.
Jesus Christ
This Gospel is narrated by Martha, one of those Disciples of Jesus Christ who have attained the Divinity.
Contents
Chapter 1. The First Meeting with Jesus
Chapter 2. Caring for the “Earthly” and Striving for the Divine
Chapter 3. Healing Souls and Bodies
Chapter 4. The Resurrection of Lazarus
Chapter 5. On Spiritual Work and Inner Silence
Chapter 6. Traveling with Jesus for the First Time
Chapter 7. One Must Cultivate Love and Purity in Oneself!
Chapter 8. Andrew’s Lessons
Chapter 1.
The First Meeting with Jesus
The First Meeting with Jesus
For about two thousand years, I, Martha, dreamed of telling people about what I was a witness to when Jesus was incarnated on the Earth. I did not have time to write down my Gospel during my life in the body. But now — I have the opportunity for this.
... The first time I saw Jesus was when my younger sister Mary was about to be stoned due to the accusation against her of adultery, and He protected her.
At that time, I saw Jesus as only a man: a little strange, not like everyone else, and — wise.
The fullness of His Majesty only gradually opened before me then.
... The family, in which I was born and grew up, was pious. Our parents educated us in the strictness of the rules and rites that were adopted in Judea back then.
There were three children in our family: my elder brother Lazarus, me, and my younger sister Mary.
All Jews at that time were sure that we were “God’s chosen people” and that soon the Messiah will appear for us — the Great Savior, the King sent from above. He will come only to us: to the sons and daughters of Israel. He will liberate us! He will be — the spiritual wise King! And all, who “correctly” believe, perfectly perform rituals, and fulfill the Jewish law recorded in the ancient scriptures, will be happy.
... But, in fact, in reality, everything happened just the opposite: the Messiah had come, but only a few recognized Him…
The Teachings of Jesus confused and frightened the priests! The miracles, performed by God through Him, were often called by the priests as a deception. It used to happen that they said in the synagogues that it was as if He specially ordered healthy people to pretend to be sick — so that later, in front of the crowds, they could demonstrate the healing… And therefore there were no miracles, in which the blind see, and the paralyzed rise and walk…
Or else they said that He heals “by the forces of evil”…
And He “violates observance of the Sabbath” — specifically to pervert the people!
A lot of different rumors then were flying around about Jesus.
And many wanted to see and hear Him only out of curiosity. And still others wished only to be healed of their diseases…
But there were also those who heard in the speeches of Jesus the Message from God — for all people and for themselves personally! They accepted what He taught! And they learned from Him.
... By this time, which we are talking about, our parents had long since been dead. Lazarus was the head of the family, I led the household. And Mary… — she was then still so young and frivolous!…
She fell in love with a married man… And, no matter how we cursed her, no matter how we reproached her, no matter how we forbade her, she secretly met with that person.
... The first time I saw Jesus was when my younger sister Mary was about to be stoned due to the accusation against her of adultery, and He protected her.
At that time, I saw Jesus as only a man: a little strange, not like everyone else, and — wise.
The fullness of His Majesty only gradually opened before me then.
... The family, in which I was born and grew up, was pious. Our parents educated us in the strictness of the rules and rites that were adopted in Judea back then.
There were three children in our family: my elder brother Lazarus, me, and my younger sister Mary.
All Jews at that time were sure that we were “God’s chosen people” and that soon the Messiah will appear for us — the Great Savior, the King sent from above. He will come only to us: to the sons and daughters of Israel. He will liberate us! He will be — the spiritual wise King! And all, who “correctly” believe, perfectly perform rituals, and fulfill the Jewish law recorded in the ancient scriptures, will be happy.
... But, in fact, in reality, everything happened just the opposite: the Messiah had come, but only a few recognized Him…
The Teachings of Jesus confused and frightened the priests! The miracles, performed by God through Him, were often called by the priests as a deception. It used to happen that they said in the synagogues that it was as if He specially ordered healthy people to pretend to be sick — so that later, in front of the crowds, they could demonstrate the healing… And therefore there were no miracles, in which the blind see, and the paralyzed rise and walk…
Or else they said that He heals “by the forces of evil”…
And He “violates observance of the Sabbath” — specifically to pervert the people!
A lot of different rumors then were flying around about Jesus.
And many wanted to see and hear Him only out of curiosity. And still others wished only to be healed of their diseases…
But there were also those who heard in the speeches of Jesus the Message from God — for all people and for themselves personally! They accepted what He taught! And they learned from Him.
... By this time, which we are talking about, our parents had long since been dead. Lazarus was the head of the family, I led the household. And Mary… — she was then still so young and frivolous!…
She fell in love with a married man… And, no matter how we cursed her, no matter how we reproached her, no matter how we forbade her, she secretly met with that person.
* * *
On that day, I was overcome with worry: Mary did not come home at all that night, the day had already come, but still she had not returned!
And now, outside, at some distance from our house, a crowd gathered and angry cries began to be heard…
Unable to withstand the alarm, I ran out of the house, saw what was happening — and began to call my brother:
“Lazarus, come quickly here, look: our sister is there! All these people have gathered around Mary! They seem to want to stone her and convict her as a harlot! They are tearing at her hair and clothes!…
“Oh, do something! Let’s go there soon! Stop them! Yes, she is dissipated and sinful, but this is too much! They’ll kill her now! Come soon!
“Look! There, next to her, a man has appeared… He has stopped the crowd — and people dispersed … And Mary — is crying at his feet…”
... That was the first time I saw Jesus. Everything was happening too far away, and I could not hear His words. But the crowd, excited by the anger, abruptly died down — just as if a storm had stopped suddenly in a few moments at sea.
Jesus shielded Mary with His body and began to speak.
Jesus was in light simple robes, all His movements were soft and smooth. A little curly hair a bit below the shoulders somehow especially shone in the sun, His appearance radiated a gentle peace. This was felt by me already then, right away, at first sight, although I certainly did not understand the cause of His impact on the souls of those people who were nearby.
... He helped Mary to rise from the ground.
The crowd dispersed.
Jesus was gently embracing weeping Mary by the shoulders, and His disciples were coming towards us.
Lazarus and I rushed to meet them.
Lazarus said:
“Thank you! You have saved our sister! Come to our house! You will be — a desired guest! And you will always be dear to our hearts! Come in!”
“I’m not alone: these people are my friends, they are with Me!”
“We will be happy to host all of you! Let the doors of our house always be open to you! Come quickly, or else those haters will return!”
“They will not return: they have thought about many things!…
“Now they have noticed sins in themselves! And now they will have time to eliminate the vices in themselves, instead of throwing themselves in anger for denouncing the sins of other people, while considering themselves righteous!”
... Jesus, who carefully supported Mary, who could barely stand on her feet after what she had gone through, entered after Lazarus into the house. They were followed by His disciples.
I followed too, still full of emotions from what had happened.
Lazarus asked:
“What is your name, my respectable guest?”
“Jesus.”
“So are You the Teacher, to Whom the people are flocking to listen?”
“Not at once you will understand who I am… But, if you want, I’ll tell you a little already now.”
... Lazarus led the guests into the room and I brought some treats.
Jesus began a conversation about the purification of the soul.
Mary was sitting on the floor, bending at His feet and covering with hands her face wet from tears.
Tears of Mary fell on the feet of Jesus. She dried them with her beautiful thick hair…
Jesus touched Mary’s head with a caress and stroked gently. Then He continued to speak, addressing to all, about the true repentance and purification of the soul:
“These tears of repentance are meaningful! They are more expensive than the best incense and fragrant oils!
“Not tears themselves, of course, but the repentance — for it is necessary to be exposed before God and freed from the vices of the soul!
“It is precisely the purification of the soul that is needed — to learn to see, hear, and understand God!
“This is what John taught the people about.
“Did you, Lazarus, hear the sermons of Prophet John, Whom the people called the ‘Baptist’?”
“No… I did not.”
“John said that the time is near! And — one, who has not purified the soul, cannot recognize the Messiah and accept Him! And — God’s Grace will not touch all those who are hardened in vices and sins, who only consider themselves as righteous and therefore avoid purifying themselves-souls from vices. They will remain deaf to the Truth! Their spiritual eyes will be blind, and they will not see the Light!
“The Messiah will come and choose only those who have prepared their own vessels of souls: they who have poured the filth out of themselves and have washed the soul by the pure waters of repentance! And then in these souls, the One Who baptizes with Fire will ignite the Flame of the Divine Love!
“John said that He prepares people for the reception of the Divine Light — through the aspiration to God in hearts and in thoughts, and also through the purification by repentance. For even the Messiah will not save the one who does not personally rush to save oneself-soul from the severity of vices!
“If for someone, the wealth of the material world is more important than the jewels of the spiritual life — even God, Who came to the Earth in the body, will seem to them only as strange man or even worse — a tempter leading people away from the dogmas of the faith of their ancestors!
“The Messiah-Savior can only show people the Way to salvation and manifest Oneself as an example of Purity and Light. Also — He will talk about how to achieve the life in Harmony and Oneness with the Heavenly Father.
“The Messiah-Savior offers His Help only to those who can and want to approach God by the quality of themselves-souls. He will not save anyone else from their own destinies, created by themselves!”
“So You’re the Savior?” — Lazarus asked stunned.
“You said so… Do not rush, listen to Me! And on the works, which are done through Me, look! You will understand yourself, when you want, who I am…”
“But what can I do to purify the soul today? Please tell me!”
“Forgive your sister Mary! For she is no longer guilty! She has understood what was bad in her thoughts and deeds and she has repented — and has rushed to the clean life!
“Her repentance is sincere! And therefore — God forgives her!”
... Jesus looked at me in some special way, as if He saw how much resentment and discontent with Mary had accumulated in me for a long time. He said:
“You too, Martha, forgive her!
“She, in fact, wanted and sought love! Therefore, she neglected the morality that has been instituted here, and caused to you so much anxiety.
“Forgive her — and do not remember that Mary, who, in your opinion, was sinful! By freeing the soul from the dirt of condemnation in such a way, you both will get closer to your own purification!”
... Lazarus retorted:
“But she disgraced our family! All the people around now already know about her sins! She is worthy of punishment, not of forgiveness!”
“What do you know about shame, Lazarus? This is, first of all, only a condemnation on the part of people! Or it is a shame of the so called self-flagellation before your own conscience: when you are ashamed of yourself.
“But such a condemnation can be false!
“I, too, am destined to judgment and ‘shame’… And later — for the same — to glorification in the centuries to come. Then it will be remembered about this ‘shame’ — as about the great ‘Glory of Jesus Christ’…
“It is much better than condemning others — to cleanse yourself and transform yourself as a soul!
“It is necessary to cultivate love in yourself! It is first born and begins to grow — like a delicate flower — in the spiritual heart of man. And after — it can expand more and more!
“God sees the outside of everyone, but also knows everything that the soul has inside! What is hidden from the eyes of men — is always open to God!”
... Jesus continued, addressing to all the disciples:
“There is great power in love-forgiveness! Understand, friends, how important this is!
“Forgiveness is a medicine for the soul!
“The one who grants forgiveness — will be helped even more than the one who gets the forgiveness!
“The ability to forgive could change a lot in the lives of people!
“The ability to forgive is an important part of the ability to love!
“Not remembering the evil about the repentant man, we do not keep him or her in their past by our own ‘heavy’ thoughts about them! So — we reveal to that one the opportunity to rush into the clean future! For we help that one to believe in himself or herself and make their own future beautiful!
“But it is not enough for a person to say ‘I forgive you’ only in words, and then, in each case, to recall his or her past sins with a reproach…
“Do not remember evil — it is easy to do this just in words! But, in reality, it is necessary to work on oneself-soul.
“It is necessary to expel all the memory of resentment, all remnants of your anger! Even if there were enough reasons for these states — but all that must be left behind!
“Taking away our heavy memories, mental reproaches, the desire to respond to the offender and condemn him or her — we cleanse by this our own future, that is, our destinies.
“We also help those, whom we forgive, by revealing to the repented ones the freedom to become better, to surpass, to overcome mistakes, to remove the burden of feeling one’s own guilt.
“And let the forgiven choose for themselves: to sin or not to sin further!
“Yes, it is necessary to explain to people: what is pure and what is sinful! Yes, everyone should be helped to open their eyes to vices: so that man, having understood and repented, can change oneself and not sin anymore!
“It is also important not to look at the sinful person ‘patronizingly’, but fill your thoughts and words to him or her with love and care: for we want to help that one!
“Yes, one must be able to see evil, but should not hate the people of evil!”
... I was astounded to listen to Jesus’ speech.
And then He again turned to me and Lazarus:
“Martha, Lazarus! Try to forgive Mary — completely, fully: so that there is not even a shadow of condemnation!
“It’s not easy for a soul to live under a hail of accusations!
“You truly wanted to protect Mary from the stones that people were going to throw at her… But accusations and convictions — they are like invisible stones that are thrown into the soul!
“The ability to forgive is a healing power and, by applying it with wisdom, you can provide great help to yourself and others.
“Find this skill! And then both your life and the life around you — will be brighter and cleaner!”
And now, outside, at some distance from our house, a crowd gathered and angry cries began to be heard…
Unable to withstand the alarm, I ran out of the house, saw what was happening — and began to call my brother:
“Lazarus, come quickly here, look: our sister is there! All these people have gathered around Mary! They seem to want to stone her and convict her as a harlot! They are tearing at her hair and clothes!…
“Oh, do something! Let’s go there soon! Stop them! Yes, she is dissipated and sinful, but this is too much! They’ll kill her now! Come soon!
“Look! There, next to her, a man has appeared… He has stopped the crowd — and people dispersed … And Mary — is crying at his feet…”
... That was the first time I saw Jesus. Everything was happening too far away, and I could not hear His words. But the crowd, excited by the anger, abruptly died down — just as if a storm had stopped suddenly in a few moments at sea.
Jesus shielded Mary with His body and began to speak.
Jesus was in light simple robes, all His movements were soft and smooth. A little curly hair a bit below the shoulders somehow especially shone in the sun, His appearance radiated a gentle peace. This was felt by me already then, right away, at first sight, although I certainly did not understand the cause of His impact on the souls of those people who were nearby.
... He helped Mary to rise from the ground.
The crowd dispersed.
Jesus was gently embracing weeping Mary by the shoulders, and His disciples were coming towards us.
Lazarus and I rushed to meet them.
Lazarus said:
“Thank you! You have saved our sister! Come to our house! You will be — a desired guest! And you will always be dear to our hearts! Come in!”
“I’m not alone: these people are my friends, they are with Me!”
“We will be happy to host all of you! Let the doors of our house always be open to you! Come quickly, or else those haters will return!”
“They will not return: they have thought about many things!…
“Now they have noticed sins in themselves! And now they will have time to eliminate the vices in themselves, instead of throwing themselves in anger for denouncing the sins of other people, while considering themselves righteous!”
... Jesus, who carefully supported Mary, who could barely stand on her feet after what she had gone through, entered after Lazarus into the house. They were followed by His disciples.
I followed too, still full of emotions from what had happened.
Lazarus asked:
“What is your name, my respectable guest?”
“Jesus.”
“So are You the Teacher, to Whom the people are flocking to listen?”
“Not at once you will understand who I am… But, if you want, I’ll tell you a little already now.”
... Lazarus led the guests into the room and I brought some treats.
Jesus began a conversation about the purification of the soul.
Mary was sitting on the floor, bending at His feet and covering with hands her face wet from tears.
Tears of Mary fell on the feet of Jesus. She dried them with her beautiful thick hair…
Jesus touched Mary’s head with a caress and stroked gently. Then He continued to speak, addressing to all, about the true repentance and purification of the soul:
“These tears of repentance are meaningful! They are more expensive than the best incense and fragrant oils!
“Not tears themselves, of course, but the repentance — for it is necessary to be exposed before God and freed from the vices of the soul!
“It is precisely the purification of the soul that is needed — to learn to see, hear, and understand God!
“This is what John taught the people about.
“Did you, Lazarus, hear the sermons of Prophet John, Whom the people called the ‘Baptist’?”
“No… I did not.”
“John said that the time is near! And — one, who has not purified the soul, cannot recognize the Messiah and accept Him! And — God’s Grace will not touch all those who are hardened in vices and sins, who only consider themselves as righteous and therefore avoid purifying themselves-souls from vices. They will remain deaf to the Truth! Their spiritual eyes will be blind, and they will not see the Light!
“The Messiah will come and choose only those who have prepared their own vessels of souls: they who have poured the filth out of themselves and have washed the soul by the pure waters of repentance! And then in these souls, the One Who baptizes with Fire will ignite the Flame of the Divine Love!
“John said that He prepares people for the reception of the Divine Light — through the aspiration to God in hearts and in thoughts, and also through the purification by repentance. For even the Messiah will not save the one who does not personally rush to save oneself-soul from the severity of vices!
“If for someone, the wealth of the material world is more important than the jewels of the spiritual life — even God, Who came to the Earth in the body, will seem to them only as strange man or even worse — a tempter leading people away from the dogmas of the faith of their ancestors!
“The Messiah-Savior can only show people the Way to salvation and manifest Oneself as an example of Purity and Light. Also — He will talk about how to achieve the life in Harmony and Oneness with the Heavenly Father.
“The Messiah-Savior offers His Help only to those who can and want to approach God by the quality of themselves-souls. He will not save anyone else from their own destinies, created by themselves!”
“So You’re the Savior?” — Lazarus asked stunned.
“You said so… Do not rush, listen to Me! And on the works, which are done through Me, look! You will understand yourself, when you want, who I am…”
“But what can I do to purify the soul today? Please tell me!”
“Forgive your sister Mary! For she is no longer guilty! She has understood what was bad in her thoughts and deeds and she has repented — and has rushed to the clean life!
“Her repentance is sincere! And therefore — God forgives her!”
... Jesus looked at me in some special way, as if He saw how much resentment and discontent with Mary had accumulated in me for a long time. He said:
“You too, Martha, forgive her!
“She, in fact, wanted and sought love! Therefore, she neglected the morality that has been instituted here, and caused to you so much anxiety.
“Forgive her — and do not remember that Mary, who, in your opinion, was sinful! By freeing the soul from the dirt of condemnation in such a way, you both will get closer to your own purification!”
... Lazarus retorted:
“But she disgraced our family! All the people around now already know about her sins! She is worthy of punishment, not of forgiveness!”
“What do you know about shame, Lazarus? This is, first of all, only a condemnation on the part of people! Or it is a shame of the so called self-flagellation before your own conscience: when you are ashamed of yourself.
“But such a condemnation can be false!
“I, too, am destined to judgment and ‘shame’… And later — for the same — to glorification in the centuries to come. Then it will be remembered about this ‘shame’ — as about the great ‘Glory of Jesus Christ’…
“It is much better than condemning others — to cleanse yourself and transform yourself as a soul!
“It is necessary to cultivate love in yourself! It is first born and begins to grow — like a delicate flower — in the spiritual heart of man. And after — it can expand more and more!
“God sees the outside of everyone, but also knows everything that the soul has inside! What is hidden from the eyes of men — is always open to God!”
... Jesus continued, addressing to all the disciples:
“There is great power in love-forgiveness! Understand, friends, how important this is!
“Forgiveness is a medicine for the soul!
“The one who grants forgiveness — will be helped even more than the one who gets the forgiveness!
“The ability to forgive could change a lot in the lives of people!
“The ability to forgive is an important part of the ability to love!
“Not remembering the evil about the repentant man, we do not keep him or her in their past by our own ‘heavy’ thoughts about them! So — we reveal to that one the opportunity to rush into the clean future! For we help that one to believe in himself or herself and make their own future beautiful!
“But it is not enough for a person to say ‘I forgive you’ only in words, and then, in each case, to recall his or her past sins with a reproach…
“Do not remember evil — it is easy to do this just in words! But, in reality, it is necessary to work on oneself-soul.
“It is necessary to expel all the memory of resentment, all remnants of your anger! Even if there were enough reasons for these states — but all that must be left behind!
“Taking away our heavy memories, mental reproaches, the desire to respond to the offender and condemn him or her — we cleanse by this our own future, that is, our destinies.
“We also help those, whom we forgive, by revealing to the repented ones the freedom to become better, to surpass, to overcome mistakes, to remove the burden of feeling one’s own guilt.
“And let the forgiven choose for themselves: to sin or not to sin further!
“Yes, it is necessary to explain to people: what is pure and what is sinful! Yes, everyone should be helped to open their eyes to vices: so that man, having understood and repented, can change oneself and not sin anymore!
“It is also important not to look at the sinful person ‘patronizingly’, but fill your thoughts and words to him or her with love and care: for we want to help that one!
“Yes, one must be able to see evil, but should not hate the people of evil!”
... I was astounded to listen to Jesus’ speech.
And then He again turned to me and Lazarus:
“Martha, Lazarus! Try to forgive Mary — completely, fully: so that there is not even a shadow of condemnation!
“It’s not easy for a soul to live under a hail of accusations!
“You truly wanted to protect Mary from the stones that people were going to throw at her… But accusations and convictions — they are like invisible stones that are thrown into the soul!
“The ability to forgive is a healing power and, by applying it with wisdom, you can provide great help to yourself and others.
“Find this skill! And then both your life and the life around you — will be brighter and cleaner!”
* * *
Jesus and His disciples spent the night in our house.
And the next day early in the morning Mary turned to Lazarus and me with a request:
“I must go with Jesus! He — has allowed this! I ask you to understand and release me! I’ll leave anyway, even if you forbid me! But I ask you: let me go in peace!
“In Him — there is the Truth, in Him — God has descended to the Earth and speaks to people!
“He does not allow everyone to go with Him. But to me — He has allowed! I ask you: let me go!”
... I said in response:
“Why does He need a maiden among male disciples? And so many bad things have been said about Him! Now they will say that a harlot walks with Him to please Him…”
“He does not care about such gossips! Yes, people often think and speak bad about others… He calls it a sin before God!
“And I myself have not been any better either so far…
“But now, I have the opportunity to live purely and brightly!
“I used to think that I can love… But that was not the real love! I really wanted love for myself, I wanted to be the beloved! I — for myself — looked for attention and worship from men! I wanted, for myself, the caress and admiration of my beauty!
“But Jesus… He has saved me, a strayed one,… from the bad in me!
“They wanted to throw stones, but He Himself protected me, saying:
‘You judge her, not knowing anything about her! You judge, not knowing what is really sin, and what is love!
‘Let the one, who thinks that he or she does not have vices and lives without sins, — let this one first throw a stone of malice!’
“And the crowd died down. And He continued:
‘Do not judge — and you will not be judged! Forgive others — and God will forgive you!’
“Then He touched my hair gently…
“He said: ‘My purest Dawn! Do not sin any more, thinking that you are a sinner!’
“He Himself radiates such a Light, such a Peace!
“He Himself is immeasurable Love!”
... I objected to my sister:
“Mary, you have merely fallen in love again! He stood up for you before the people — and you’re already in love again!”
“It’s not that! All the former, what I called love, does not count! I did not know true love before! This is not easy to convey in words…”
“And who will you be to Him?”
“A disciple… And I will learn the real life!”
... At this time Jesus entered the room, came up, embraced Mary and turned to us:
“I beg you: let her go with Me! Her fate is being decided now!”
“But what will people say when there is a woman among Your disciples, one among men?”
“Do not be afraid, Martha! Centuries will pass — and people will say that among My worthy disciples there was also a woman named Mary!”
And the next day early in the morning Mary turned to Lazarus and me with a request:
“I must go with Jesus! He — has allowed this! I ask you to understand and release me! I’ll leave anyway, even if you forbid me! But I ask you: let me go in peace!
“In Him — there is the Truth, in Him — God has descended to the Earth and speaks to people!
“He does not allow everyone to go with Him. But to me — He has allowed! I ask you: let me go!”
... I said in response:
“Why does He need a maiden among male disciples? And so many bad things have been said about Him! Now they will say that a harlot walks with Him to please Him…”
“He does not care about such gossips! Yes, people often think and speak bad about others… He calls it a sin before God!
“And I myself have not been any better either so far…
“But now, I have the opportunity to live purely and brightly!
“I used to think that I can love… But that was not the real love! I really wanted love for myself, I wanted to be the beloved! I — for myself — looked for attention and worship from men! I wanted, for myself, the caress and admiration of my beauty!
“But Jesus… He has saved me, a strayed one,… from the bad in me!
“They wanted to throw stones, but He Himself protected me, saying:
‘You judge her, not knowing anything about her! You judge, not knowing what is really sin, and what is love!
‘Let the one, who thinks that he or she does not have vices and lives without sins, — let this one first throw a stone of malice!’
“And the crowd died down. And He continued:
‘Do not judge — and you will not be judged! Forgive others — and God will forgive you!’
“Then He touched my hair gently…
“He said: ‘My purest Dawn! Do not sin any more, thinking that you are a sinner!’
“He Himself radiates such a Light, such a Peace!
“He Himself is immeasurable Love!”
... I objected to my sister:
“Mary, you have merely fallen in love again! He stood up for you before the people — and you’re already in love again!”
“It’s not that! All the former, what I called love, does not count! I did not know true love before! This is not easy to convey in words…”
“And who will you be to Him?”
“A disciple… And I will learn the real life!”
... At this time Jesus entered the room, came up, embraced Mary and turned to us:
“I beg you: let her go with Me! Her fate is being decided now!”
“But what will people say when there is a woman among Your disciples, one among men?”
“Do not be afraid, Martha! Centuries will pass — and people will say that among My worthy disciples there was also a woman named Mary!”
* * *
Mary left with Jesus. My brother Lazarus and I let her go, although reluctantly. Since then, she and Jesus have almost never parted. She became His closest companion and disciple.
And I… For a long time, I was far from direct training. But later, the time came for me to learn the Deep Truths directly. For this, I would need, while maturing, to realize a lot of things and get rid of many imperfections of the soul…
And I… For a long time, I was far from direct training. But later, the time came for me to learn the Deep Truths directly. For this, I would need, while maturing, to realize a lot of things and get rid of many imperfections of the soul…
Chapter 2.
Caring for the “Earthly” and
Caring for the “Earthly” and
Striving for the Divine
Our large house seemed to become empty without Mary! It turned out that I had never before realized the importance of her presence: she was filling my and Lazarus’ lives with her joy and gentle smiles!
I was accustomed to taking care of her from my childhood. But also, being the eldest, I considered it my duty to constantly teach, edify, and correct her, believing that she creates only problems and anxiety for us! And now — I realized how much she meant to me.
... I also often remembered about Jesus...
With perplexity and with increasing interest, I was listening what other people talk about Him when I went to the market for something. I heard people say that He had healed a blind man, that He had cured a child who had no hope of being saved. Or — that He had fed a whole crowd of people when He had only seven loaves at His disposal. He had broken them — and the food was enough for all... Someone said that he saw it personally, while others objected saying that these were nothing but fantasies...
I wanted to believe in the authenticity of those stories, but I was afraid of making mistakes too! In our synagogue they did not tell us that the Messiah has come — and that everyone should follow what He teaches! There was generally just silence about Him, as if He did not exist at all! And if someone asked questions about Him, they did not reply.
Now I was looking forward to the return of Jesus. While leaving, He said that He — together with Mary and the other disciples — would surely come to our house again.
I was accustomed to taking care of her from my childhood. But also, being the eldest, I considered it my duty to constantly teach, edify, and correct her, believing that she creates only problems and anxiety for us! And now — I realized how much she meant to me.
... I also often remembered about Jesus...
With perplexity and with increasing interest, I was listening what other people talk about Him when I went to the market for something. I heard people say that He had healed a blind man, that He had cured a child who had no hope of being saved. Or — that He had fed a whole crowd of people when He had only seven loaves at His disposal. He had broken them — and the food was enough for all... Someone said that he saw it personally, while others objected saying that these were nothing but fantasies...
I wanted to believe in the authenticity of those stories, but I was afraid of making mistakes too! In our synagogue they did not tell us that the Messiah has come — and that everyone should follow what He teaches! There was generally just silence about Him, as if He did not exist at all! And if someone asked questions about Him, they did not reply.
Now I was looking forward to the return of Jesus. While leaving, He said that He — together with Mary and the other disciples — would surely come to our house again.
* * *
How great was my joy when they came again!
But this joy was quickly eclipsed in me by an unexpected resentment...
This time, there were with Jesus not only His closest disciples, but also a few more people whom I had not seen before.
I started to prepare a meal for everyone. And Mary stayed with Jesus and listened to His words...
I was in a hurry to feed the guests — this was a lot of work. I went to call Mary to help me. But Jesus answered that Mary had chosen the good — and that she is right in this...
I returned to the kitchen, “boiling” with indignation...
But then Philip, one of Jesus’ close disciples, entered.
“Let me help you today, Martha!”
… I was very surprised:
“You? Will you do the work of women?”
“Why is it only for women? We are on the road every day and do everything ourselves: preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry...
“Do not be so angry with Mary! You’ll soon understand everything about Jesus and your sister! For now — just believe that it’s better to do as Jesus advises in each specific situation. And this is in everything: both in the large, and in the small!”
“But I do not understand why I should have to cook all by myself, while Mary sits at His feet, without even moving her hand or looking away! And what about all this work here that needs to be done? She doesn’t even care!”
“You should try to calm down! Now, together, we will quickly cope with everything that is necessary! Everything will be fine! This meal will be great! And all that we need to hear from Jesus — He will tell us! We will not miss anything that is needed and useful for us to know!”
... I immediately liked Philip. This young man with curly hair, with a clear glowing gaze — was so pleasant that my anger quickly subsided! And Philip was very adroit with work in the kitchen!
Soon, we were already able to bring dishes with ready-made meals to the guests. Everyone began to eat.
And after eating, when everyone settled comfortably, Jesus began a conversation:
“Friends, we all thanked God today for the food that was given to us! But I think it’s important to also thank those who raised it and those who prepared it for us. It is blessed with the work of good hands! You, Martha and Philip, have filled these delicacies with your care!”
... I was embarrassed by this praise of Jesus, I covered my face in shame with an apron... I suddenly realized that if not Philip, I would have remained insulted by Mary and even by Jesus... I would have cooked the food in a state of anger... And it is really just Philip who is worthy of praise! There is no my merit here...
And Jesus, meanwhile, went on to say:
“God must be greatly needed by a person: more important than close people, than all “earthly” things!
“But the aspiration to God does not come immediately in most people. And you should not demand this from those who are not yet ready for this state.
“It’s very easy to just say: ‘I believe! I worship God!’. And very many people do only this: hoping that by doing so, everyone around will notice how ‘righteous I am’, how carefully ‘I follow the rules’, how I ‘create prayers’...
“How many people are able to throw off all these useless ‘external things’ — and follow Me? No, not many...
“Although, of course, in due time — for each properly developing soul — a similar stage occurs, when by all forces, thoughts, and desires, a person rushes only to God and nothing else attracts him or her!
“God reveals Himself only to the real seeker of Him: to one who wants to acquire the Knowledge of Him and His Love! And who — oneself — also loves!
“God does not show His Presence to indifferent people! The aspiration for Him must become sincere and constant!
“God should be needed by the soul not as an object for ritual worship, but as the air for breathing, as water for quenching thirst, as food for the hungry! When the attention of the soul is wholly redirected from the mundane and vain — to the search for God, only then the profound transformation of the soul and the clear perception of the world of the Divine are possible!
“All this is quickly acquired — only by a few, who are already mature souls. But what about those, who would like to do, but still cannot do this with their whole heart, with all the soul — for striving to the Heavenly Father? ‘Is there no salvation for them?’ — you may ask Me.
But the righteous life is possible and in ordinary good deeds: to live in peace with people, aspiring to the knowledge of the Holy, with the desire to serve others through one’s own work! This means — to serve people by both the greater and the lesser that a concrete person can do now! It is very good! So — gradually — love develops in this soul and care grows! And it does not matter if those simple deeds seem insignificant to outsiders!
“Let someone just bake bread or make beds! But everyone must do it — in peace and in love! In the sincere service to one’s neighbor — the happiness of a righteous life is generated! Let it be only little so far, but it is in namely through such devoted work that the greater happiness is obtained!
“I’m talking about the happiness of life with God, which is possible for a soul who has learned to love unselfishly and strongly!
“If, by the soul filled with love, man rushes to God — then the Embraces of the Heavenly Father are opened up to him or her!
“Try now, as best you can, to look into the depths of the soul, where God can always be found!
“And from there — from the spiritual heart — we can look both forwards, and backwards, and in all directions.
“If we look forward — we are as if ‘flowing’ into the world of matter — to bestow it with our love.
“Or — if we look backwards and into the depths of the space — there are Peace and Light!
“And, Martha, you, too, should try to do this!
“There — inside — the spacious world of the Divine Presence opens. God always abides there! He is closer than all the people around us! Always near — right in your spiritual heart — man can discover God, Who is present in the life of every person!”
... I tried — but not much happened... It was as if a door opened a little, but the opportunity to get behind it and enter — was awaiting me....
And Jesus continued:
“This is an easy way to teach almost any person who knows how to love and aspires to God — to begin to feel the Divine Presence!
“It is the look in the opposite direction, in relation to the surrounding world of objects and earthly events, a look backwards into the depths, — that will help.
“Yes, the Divine Depths exist both upwards from our bodies, and downwards, and in any direction. But, by directing the look of the soul backwards,to the depths, it is convenient to dive into the Kingdom of God, Which is inside us! It is as if the door to this Kingdom opens!
“And it can be opened — only in a vast and loving heart!
“Then — we can learn to give our love and the Love of God, which overflow the developed spiritual heart, — to those who live around us in this world!
“It is important for everyone to understand how he or she should live and act in this world Namely, this is our main purpose — to grow love in the souls! This is the love for the beauty of the Earth, for God’s creatures, and love for our fellows, who are often very difficult to be loved... People, when communicating with each other, often show their vices: they are angry, they lie, despise, create violence, speak and think condemningly... And it is not easy sometimes to maintain love and calm in oneself-soul towards such people.
“I repeat that it is not enough only to remember about God. But it is important — to learn to live with God in your own heart!”
“But how can we distinguish between what is right to do, and what is wrong to do? What does God want from us, and what does He not want?”
Jesus answered:
“All the people, who have gathered here, have already realized the most important thing for a righteous life. This is an aspiration to the Heavenly Father!
“But in this aspiration, it is important to learn to distinguish: which things, which must be performed, are ‘earthly’ — and which things are empty and superfluous dream-desires, unnecessary worries, or worldly vanities, which can entice one with ‘earthly’ successes and with adornments from praise...
“It is necessary to direct only a little of one’s vitality towards feeding the body, or maintaining one’s health — so that righteous works for our neighbors can be performed.
“Hungry, tired, and sick bodies — weigh down the Path of knowledge and service. Therefore, everyone needs to learn to distinguish between what is important and what is unimportant in their deeds and in choosing the right time to perform them.
“And the tasks, which God defines for different people, can be different. It may be time for one person to leave all material attachments and devote all of his or her energy towards serious spiritual practices, while for another — it would be more appropriate to grow love in oneself-soul among one’s usual surroundings, including caring for the family, including children.
“It is easy for us to not be bound by the affairs of this world, to distinguish what really should and should not be done — when the Will of the Heavenly Father is already obvious for the soul.
“I will explain.
“Why did God incarnate souls into bodies and give them life in this world?
“Let us realize that all the ‘earthly’ wealth that we gather will remain here, when each of us leaves this world... The memory of good deeds usually does not last for long after the actions have been accomplished... Even the buildings, which have been built, will disappear, and written books will be forgotten too...
“So what is the most important thing for us to do while we live here, in this world?
“For what — before God — should we bear responsibility for?
“Which of our actions are important — and which are just vain vanity?
“Let everyone think about it — and the understanding will gradually come and grow.
“Perhaps someone has decided that by just being next to My body — this one will ‘be saved’? And — that it is no longer neccesary to do anything, except be next to My body?
“But it is not the location of one’s body that determines the closeness to Me! There may be one next to Me, who is bodily far away, but with thoughts, and the desire of the soul — is always with Me!
“It may also be that someone sits and listens to My words, but at the same time his or her thoughts are in condemning comparisons: for example, who among those present is closer to Me — or further from Me, who is better — or worse... Or — one could be dreaming about something “earthly”...
“Philip today, by going to help Martha in the kitchen, — stayed close to Me.
“It is very important to understand that for everyone the main thing is not the help that he or she receives, but, rather, the help that other souls accept from us! Help the worthy — and strive so that the bodies of those, to whom we help, and the souls — will be healed. And let just like this, miracles happen — transforming destinies!
“We will return again and again in our conversations to the theme of the meaning of life and the distinction between what is needed and what is not. But right now it is important for everyone to realize the following: there are also deeds that must be performed for the good of our neighbors — and this is part of our service to God. And, also, there is the work that everyone must perform over oneself-soul, which we also do for God. This is how the integrity of one’s life for God is gradually acquired. That is — the life for Him — in everything, whatever we do!”
But this joy was quickly eclipsed in me by an unexpected resentment...
This time, there were with Jesus not only His closest disciples, but also a few more people whom I had not seen before.
I started to prepare a meal for everyone. And Mary stayed with Jesus and listened to His words...
I was in a hurry to feed the guests — this was a lot of work. I went to call Mary to help me. But Jesus answered that Mary had chosen the good — and that she is right in this...
I returned to the kitchen, “boiling” with indignation...
But then Philip, one of Jesus’ close disciples, entered.
“Let me help you today, Martha!”
… I was very surprised:
“You? Will you do the work of women?”
“Why is it only for women? We are on the road every day and do everything ourselves: preparing food, washing dishes, doing laundry...
“Do not be so angry with Mary! You’ll soon understand everything about Jesus and your sister! For now — just believe that it’s better to do as Jesus advises in each specific situation. And this is in everything: both in the large, and in the small!”
“But I do not understand why I should have to cook all by myself, while Mary sits at His feet, without even moving her hand or looking away! And what about all this work here that needs to be done? She doesn’t even care!”
“You should try to calm down! Now, together, we will quickly cope with everything that is necessary! Everything will be fine! This meal will be great! And all that we need to hear from Jesus — He will tell us! We will not miss anything that is needed and useful for us to know!”
... I immediately liked Philip. This young man with curly hair, with a clear glowing gaze — was so pleasant that my anger quickly subsided! And Philip was very adroit with work in the kitchen!
Soon, we were already able to bring dishes with ready-made meals to the guests. Everyone began to eat.
And after eating, when everyone settled comfortably, Jesus began a conversation:
“Friends, we all thanked God today for the food that was given to us! But I think it’s important to also thank those who raised it and those who prepared it for us. It is blessed with the work of good hands! You, Martha and Philip, have filled these delicacies with your care!”
... I was embarrassed by this praise of Jesus, I covered my face in shame with an apron... I suddenly realized that if not Philip, I would have remained insulted by Mary and even by Jesus... I would have cooked the food in a state of anger... And it is really just Philip who is worthy of praise! There is no my merit here...
And Jesus, meanwhile, went on to say:
“God must be greatly needed by a person: more important than close people, than all “earthly” things!
“But the aspiration to God does not come immediately in most people. And you should not demand this from those who are not yet ready for this state.
“It’s very easy to just say: ‘I believe! I worship God!’. And very many people do only this: hoping that by doing so, everyone around will notice how ‘righteous I am’, how carefully ‘I follow the rules’, how I ‘create prayers’...
“How many people are able to throw off all these useless ‘external things’ — and follow Me? No, not many...
“Although, of course, in due time — for each properly developing soul — a similar stage occurs, when by all forces, thoughts, and desires, a person rushes only to God and nothing else attracts him or her!
“God reveals Himself only to the real seeker of Him: to one who wants to acquire the Knowledge of Him and His Love! And who — oneself — also loves!
“God does not show His Presence to indifferent people! The aspiration for Him must become sincere and constant!
“God should be needed by the soul not as an object for ritual worship, but as the air for breathing, as water for quenching thirst, as food for the hungry! When the attention of the soul is wholly redirected from the mundane and vain — to the search for God, only then the profound transformation of the soul and the clear perception of the world of the Divine are possible!
“All this is quickly acquired — only by a few, who are already mature souls. But what about those, who would like to do, but still cannot do this with their whole heart, with all the soul — for striving to the Heavenly Father? ‘Is there no salvation for them?’ — you may ask Me.
But the righteous life is possible and in ordinary good deeds: to live in peace with people, aspiring to the knowledge of the Holy, with the desire to serve others through one’s own work! This means — to serve people by both the greater and the lesser that a concrete person can do now! It is very good! So — gradually — love develops in this soul and care grows! And it does not matter if those simple deeds seem insignificant to outsiders!
“Let someone just bake bread or make beds! But everyone must do it — in peace and in love! In the sincere service to one’s neighbor — the happiness of a righteous life is generated! Let it be only little so far, but it is in namely through such devoted work that the greater happiness is obtained!
“I’m talking about the happiness of life with God, which is possible for a soul who has learned to love unselfishly and strongly!
“If, by the soul filled with love, man rushes to God — then the Embraces of the Heavenly Father are opened up to him or her!
“Try now, as best you can, to look into the depths of the soul, where God can always be found!
“And from there — from the spiritual heart — we can look both forwards, and backwards, and in all directions.
“If we look forward — we are as if ‘flowing’ into the world of matter — to bestow it with our love.
“Or — if we look backwards and into the depths of the space — there are Peace and Light!
“And, Martha, you, too, should try to do this!
“There — inside — the spacious world of the Divine Presence opens. God always abides there! He is closer than all the people around us! Always near — right in your spiritual heart — man can discover God, Who is present in the life of every person!”
... I tried — but not much happened... It was as if a door opened a little, but the opportunity to get behind it and enter — was awaiting me....
And Jesus continued:
“This is an easy way to teach almost any person who knows how to love and aspires to God — to begin to feel the Divine Presence!
“It is the look in the opposite direction, in relation to the surrounding world of objects and earthly events, a look backwards into the depths, — that will help.
“Yes, the Divine Depths exist both upwards from our bodies, and downwards, and in any direction. But, by directing the look of the soul backwards,to the depths, it is convenient to dive into the Kingdom of God, Which is inside us! It is as if the door to this Kingdom opens!
“And it can be opened — only in a vast and loving heart!
“Then — we can learn to give our love and the Love of God, which overflow the developed spiritual heart, — to those who live around us in this world!
“It is important for everyone to understand how he or she should live and act in this world Namely, this is our main purpose — to grow love in the souls! This is the love for the beauty of the Earth, for God’s creatures, and love for our fellows, who are often very difficult to be loved... People, when communicating with each other, often show their vices: they are angry, they lie, despise, create violence, speak and think condemningly... And it is not easy sometimes to maintain love and calm in oneself-soul towards such people.
“I repeat that it is not enough only to remember about God. But it is important — to learn to live with God in your own heart!”
“But how can we distinguish between what is right to do, and what is wrong to do? What does God want from us, and what does He not want?”
Jesus answered:
“All the people, who have gathered here, have already realized the most important thing for a righteous life. This is an aspiration to the Heavenly Father!
“But in this aspiration, it is important to learn to distinguish: which things, which must be performed, are ‘earthly’ — and which things are empty and superfluous dream-desires, unnecessary worries, or worldly vanities, which can entice one with ‘earthly’ successes and with adornments from praise...
“It is necessary to direct only a little of one’s vitality towards feeding the body, or maintaining one’s health — so that righteous works for our neighbors can be performed.
“Hungry, tired, and sick bodies — weigh down the Path of knowledge and service. Therefore, everyone needs to learn to distinguish between what is important and what is unimportant in their deeds and in choosing the right time to perform them.
“And the tasks, which God defines for different people, can be different. It may be time for one person to leave all material attachments and devote all of his or her energy towards serious spiritual practices, while for another — it would be more appropriate to grow love in oneself-soul among one’s usual surroundings, including caring for the family, including children.
“It is easy for us to not be bound by the affairs of this world, to distinguish what really should and should not be done — when the Will of the Heavenly Father is already obvious for the soul.
“I will explain.
“Why did God incarnate souls into bodies and give them life in this world?
“Let us realize that all the ‘earthly’ wealth that we gather will remain here, when each of us leaves this world... The memory of good deeds usually does not last for long after the actions have been accomplished... Even the buildings, which have been built, will disappear, and written books will be forgotten too...
“So what is the most important thing for us to do while we live here, in this world?
“For what — before God — should we bear responsibility for?
“Which of our actions are important — and which are just vain vanity?
“Let everyone think about it — and the understanding will gradually come and grow.
“Perhaps someone has decided that by just being next to My body — this one will ‘be saved’? And — that it is no longer neccesary to do anything, except be next to My body?
“But it is not the location of one’s body that determines the closeness to Me! There may be one next to Me, who is bodily far away, but with thoughts, and the desire of the soul — is always with Me!
“It may also be that someone sits and listens to My words, but at the same time his or her thoughts are in condemning comparisons: for example, who among those present is closer to Me — or further from Me, who is better — or worse... Or — one could be dreaming about something “earthly”...
“Philip today, by going to help Martha in the kitchen, — stayed close to Me.
“It is very important to understand that for everyone the main thing is not the help that he or she receives, but, rather, the help that other souls accept from us! Help the worthy — and strive so that the bodies of those, to whom we help, and the souls — will be healed. And let just like this, miracles happen — transforming destinies!
“We will return again and again in our conversations to the theme of the meaning of life and the distinction between what is needed and what is not. But right now it is important for everyone to realize the following: there are also deeds that must be performed for the good of our neighbors — and this is part of our service to God. And, also, there is the work that everyone must perform over oneself-soul, which we also do for God. This is how the integrity of one’s life for God is gradually acquired. That is — the life for Him — in everything, whatever we do!”
* * *
From that time on, Jesus and His disciples often visited us. Our house became a quiet haven where it was possible to relax, similar to a place where ships remain for a time between long wanderings amid waves and storms. These brief halts were so necessary for Jesus and His friends — to continue then again the difficult path of fulfilling the Great Task, which was entrusted to them by the Heavenly Father!
But Lazarus and I still did not understand much about Jesus. After all, He was very simple in His communications with disciples and with us!
The ministers in the temples were pompous people, arrogant, and highly respected... But Jesus walked among the people and spoke to them as equals. And He did so — with each person!
One evening, they had returned very tired. The disciples — being powerless — went to sleep more quickly. But Jesus, also tired, went to help Lazarus to fix the roof, damaged by a strong wind.
Lazarus then began to object, asking Jesus to also go rest.
But Jesus said calmly: “I am the son of a carpenter, and I can do some things. Together we can do it faster! Moreover, it will rain tonight!”.
Back then, I still had the thought that if He is God, then this rain could be canceled. Or — without any personal effort, just by God’s Power, — the repair of the roof could be done...
When the Messiah is nearby, next to us, then often people do not notice His Greatness!
But Lazarus and I still did not understand much about Jesus. After all, He was very simple in His communications with disciples and with us!
The ministers in the temples were pompous people, arrogant, and highly respected... But Jesus walked among the people and spoke to them as equals. And He did so — with each person!
One evening, they had returned very tired. The disciples — being powerless — went to sleep more quickly. But Jesus, also tired, went to help Lazarus to fix the roof, damaged by a strong wind.
Lazarus then began to object, asking Jesus to also go rest.
But Jesus said calmly: “I am the son of a carpenter, and I can do some things. Together we can do it faster! Moreover, it will rain tonight!”.
Back then, I still had the thought that if He is God, then this rain could be canceled. Or — without any personal effort, just by God’s Power, — the repair of the roof could be done...
When the Messiah is nearby, next to us, then often people do not notice His Greatness!
* * *
At first, it was difficult for me to understand Mary and the disciples of Jesus... Why do they live like this? They go places, preach, teach, and heal... Like wanderers... They are taken somewhere, and from somewhere — they are driven away...
This all seemed strange to me. Why not create a family and live a quiet, happy, and righteous life before God?
It took me a long time to learn how and when we should act in our relations with the “earthly”...
And now let my words add some understanding about this — to those who need it.
Do we really need to care about the “earthly”?
And where is the line drawn for when it’s time to reject the “earthly”? When is it time to throw off the bonds of ordinary cares? When do we need to aspire only to Heaven?
These questions are important!
The one who, before the necessary time, carelessly neglects one’s “earthly” debt — this one sins! And this sin leads to further bad fate, returning back to that unfulfilled debt...
When is it appropriate for us stop caring for the “earthly”? When and to what degree is that one right, who does not take care of his or her life in this body and has rejected all the false conventionality of earthly traditions? And this one has rejected it not because he or she is lazy to perform them, but because the High Light shines and the earth’s firmament can no longer keep that soul... Attachments to the family, to the way of habitual life, to observance of “ancestral precepts” and “rules”, which “must be followed” by the one living a “righteous life”... — all this is now in the past for him or her... The soul unstoppably tears away the terrestrial bindings of “earthly” concerns! And it all recedes away and disappears...
This is how — irresistibly — the Accomplished Soul goes to the Radiance of the Divine Light! Nothing “earthly” holds onto it anymore!
But the body can also become a Focus of the Divine Power, Which is used by the Creator to bring the Rays of the Great Light to those who are not yet in the world of the Divine.
This is what Jesus showed us!
Yes, the body can become the Divine Radiance, the link for the Manifestation of the Power of God. The soul — becomes immeasurable in size, wise, and the all-embracing Love of God!
Then the Divine Power and Bliss flow through this immortal holy body. And there is no more difference between God and the Soul Which has come to this Unity!
Thus — a Soul ascends to the Supre
This all seemed strange to me. Why not create a family and live a quiet, happy, and righteous life before God?
It took me a long time to learn how and when we should act in our relations with the “earthly”...
And now let my words add some understanding about this — to those who need it.
Do we really need to care about the “earthly”?
And where is the line drawn for when it’s time to reject the “earthly”? When is it time to throw off the bonds of ordinary cares? When do we need to aspire only to Heaven?
These questions are important!
The one who, before the necessary time, carelessly neglects one’s “earthly” debt — this one sins! And this sin leads to further bad fate, returning back to that unfulfilled debt...
When is it appropriate for us stop caring for the “earthly”? When and to what degree is that one right, who does not take care of his or her life in this body and has rejected all the false conventionality of earthly traditions? And this one has rejected it not because he or she is lazy to perform them, but because the High Light shines and the earth’s firmament can no longer keep that soul... Attachments to the family, to the way of habitual life, to observance of “ancestral precepts” and “rules”, which “must be followed” by the one living a “righteous life”... — all this is now in the past for him or her... The soul unstoppably tears away the terrestrial bindings of “earthly” concerns! And it all recedes away and disappears...
This is how — irresistibly — the Accomplished Soul goes to the Radiance of the Divine Light! Nothing “earthly” holds onto it anymore!
But the body can also become a Focus of the Divine Power, Which is used by the Creator to bring the Rays of the Great Light to those who are not yet in the world of the Divine.
This is what Jesus showed us!
Yes, the body can become the Divine Radiance, the link for the Manifestation of the Power of God. The soul — becomes immeasurable in size, wise, and the all-embracing Love of God!
Then the Divine Power and Bliss flow through this immortal holy body. And there is no more difference between God and the Soul Which has come to this Unity!
Thus — a Soul ascends to the Supre
me Unity and manifests God through Oneself! The heart of such a Soul, and hands, and thinking have become One with the Heavenly Father. The soul now is One with the Creator of Everything in the immensity of the universe!
Jesus revealed all of this to people!
He, Who has achieved this, can repeat the words of Jesus: “I and the Father are One!”.
Jesus revealed all of this to people!
He, Who has achieved this, can repeat the words of Jesus: “I and the Father are One!”.
Chapter 3.
Healing Souls and Bodies
Healing Souls and Bodies
One day, Jesus and His disciples had come to our house late at night, being very tired.
I gave water to all of them, so that they could wash themselves after their travels, and hurried to start the fireplace and prepare a meal.
Andrew, one of the closest disciples of Jesus, helped me, bringing firewood and more water for the needs of the kitchen.
I was already accustomed to the fact that one of the disciples of Jesus always undertook to help me in the household.
I was very pleased that this time it was Andrew who did it. I really liked him. Andrew was handsome, tall, and broad-shouldered, with strong hands and with a surprisingly beautiful calm look. I especially singled out him from all the disciples of Jesus. I really wanted to be liked by him — in the way that a woman should be liked by a man.
Andrew told me:
“You do not need to cook delicacies right now, let the food be simple. Today is not the time for a festive meal. Jesus is very tired: it was a difficult day. Mary will come to you now to help, and I’ll go tell those people that have already gathered at the entrance — to come tomorrow.
“How did they find out so quickly that He has come? So many of them only want to receive the healing of the bodies! Cripples, infirm patients — there is always a crowd of them flocking around Him!
“But He has come here not to heal their ulcers, limps, or blindness, but to teach the purity of the soul and the life with God in love! Oh, if only these people could understand this! Oh, if only they could accept the healing of the souls, about which Jesus is teaching to all, and decide to change themselves — to change their lives!
“I’ll go and tell them to come tomorrow. Today the Master must rest.”
… Having returned, Andrew drew attention to the bandage on my arm, which became visible from under my clothes when I began washing vegetables:
“What happened to your arm? Are you well?”
“I burnt my arm the other day, and the wound has not healed yet… But it’s nothing! It will pass!”
“He will definitely help you! But I just ask that you do not bother Him today!”
“Well, what’s the point of involving Him in this? It will heal by itself!”
“He always has something to do with everything! But — you can ask Him tomorrow! Today, let Him rest…”
… Everything was moving in the usual way. Mary helped me with diligence, even though she could hardly stand on her feet due to fatigue. I served bread, water, vegetables, and fruits on the table.
Suddenly, when I stopped next to Jesus, He gently touched my hand and said:
“Thank you, Martha!”
… And immediately the pain in my hand went away!…
A little surprised, I continued to busy myself with housework.
Then, when I finished washing the dishes, and everyone was already going to bed, I decided to change the bandage on my arm.
But under the bandage, there was no wound! There was not even a trace on the skin! It was a miracle! Tears came to my eyes: He knew everything about me, He did this — for me! He had revealed the Power of God! Though I did not ask Him for anything! And no one told Him! And yet, the arm was completely healed!
I was overwhelmed by so much gratitude, which did not fit into the usual understanding of gratitude! The heart was filled with the understanding that Jesus loves me, knows everything about me, even without me asking Him!
This had transformed myself-soul more than anything that I knew or heard about Him before!
I gave water to all of them, so that they could wash themselves after their travels, and hurried to start the fireplace and prepare a meal.
Andrew, one of the closest disciples of Jesus, helped me, bringing firewood and more water for the needs of the kitchen.
I was already accustomed to the fact that one of the disciples of Jesus always undertook to help me in the household.
I was very pleased that this time it was Andrew who did it. I really liked him. Andrew was handsome, tall, and broad-shouldered, with strong hands and with a surprisingly beautiful calm look. I especially singled out him from all the disciples of Jesus. I really wanted to be liked by him — in the way that a woman should be liked by a man.
Andrew told me:
“You do not need to cook delicacies right now, let the food be simple. Today is not the time for a festive meal. Jesus is very tired: it was a difficult day. Mary will come to you now to help, and I’ll go tell those people that have already gathered at the entrance — to come tomorrow.
“How did they find out so quickly that He has come? So many of them only want to receive the healing of the bodies! Cripples, infirm patients — there is always a crowd of them flocking around Him!
“But He has come here not to heal their ulcers, limps, or blindness, but to teach the purity of the soul and the life with God in love! Oh, if only these people could understand this! Oh, if only they could accept the healing of the souls, about which Jesus is teaching to all, and decide to change themselves — to change their lives!
“I’ll go and tell them to come tomorrow. Today the Master must rest.”
… Having returned, Andrew drew attention to the bandage on my arm, which became visible from under my clothes when I began washing vegetables:
“What happened to your arm? Are you well?”
“I burnt my arm the other day, and the wound has not healed yet… But it’s nothing! It will pass!”
“He will definitely help you! But I just ask that you do not bother Him today!”
“Well, what’s the point of involving Him in this? It will heal by itself!”
“He always has something to do with everything! But — you can ask Him tomorrow! Today, let Him rest…”
… Everything was moving in the usual way. Mary helped me with diligence, even though she could hardly stand on her feet due to fatigue. I served bread, water, vegetables, and fruits on the table.
Suddenly, when I stopped next to Jesus, He gently touched my hand and said:
“Thank you, Martha!”
… And immediately the pain in my hand went away!…
A little surprised, I continued to busy myself with housework.
Then, when I finished washing the dishes, and everyone was already going to bed, I decided to change the bandage on my arm.
But under the bandage, there was no wound! There was not even a trace on the skin! It was a miracle! Tears came to my eyes: He knew everything about me, He did this — for me! He had revealed the Power of God! Though I did not ask Him for anything! And no one told Him! And yet, the arm was completely healed!
I was overwhelmed by so much gratitude, which did not fit into the usual understanding of gratitude! The heart was filled with the understanding that Jesus loves me, knows everything about me, even without me asking Him!
This had transformed myself-soul more than anything that I knew or heard about Him before!
* * *
The next morning Jesus went out to the people who had gathered around our house, hungry for help from Him in healing.
Among the people waiting for Jesus, there was our rich neighbor Sarah.
She always looked with hostility at what was happening in our house when Jesus was here. Often, evil gossips began their journey starting precisely from her lips.
Once, she even told me:
“Why do you take all of them in? They are freeloaders, they live in your house, they eat… And they do not pay you for the accomodations!
“And they say that this Jesus can feed a whole crowd! He only breaks one loaf of bread — and everyone receives enough food!
“All of this is lies! They only use your naivety and kindness! You and Lazarus need to be smarter!”
… I was indignant:
“Come to your senses, Sarah! Since when do we accept payment from dear guests and friends?!”
“All people earn their bread by their labor! But these ones — walk, using their strange speeches to tear everyone away from the really necessary deeds! They will completely ruin your sister! And you and Lazarus consider it an honor to receive them! Do you really think that they are saints?”
… I then waved my hand and went away, not wanting to get involved in a dispute…
And now Sarah — on her knees and all in tears — stood among those asking for help from Jesus…
… In my mind, there was a malevolent thought that Sarah got what she deserved… After all, often, it is only when people comprehend suffering and misfortune that they remember about God! And now — Sarah needed Jesus, Whom she had always despised and slandered! He had become needed — only after a certain misfortune had come to her house!…
With an effort, I drove this thought away: “Do not take revenge on the offenders even in your thoughts! Do not rejoice in the misfortunes of even evil people!” — Jesus taught us. We should not triumph when a person receives punishment — even if it is deserved! After all, perhaps, Sarah’s eyes have been opened now!…
I remembered the words of Jesus: “God comes to the house of every man in different ways…”.
… And Sarah howled from grief, crawled on her knees to Jesus, clutched the edges of His clothes and asked:
“My son is dying! Have mercy! Help me! Save him! This morning, he had fallen from a cliff and landed against the rocks! And he still has not regained consciousness!”
… And behind Sarah, through the crowd, her servants walked, carrying her son on a stretcher: a boy of about ten, who was unconscious.
“God — the Father of Mine and yours — in His Power — is omnipotent over all! Do you believe, Sarah, in His Power, Justice, and Omnipotence?”
“There was no faith in me before, even though I considered myself a believer!… I am a sinner before You, because I was mistaken! Forgive me! Save my son!”
“Try not to forget what you have realized now, Sarah! Your son will be healthy!”
Jesus stretched His hands over the boy — and he woke up and got up!
The boy came to Jesus, embraced Him and stood there for a long time. Jesus also embraced the boy and said something quietly to him alone.
And there was silence, all the people around kept quiet…
Then Jesus healed many sick people and answered their questions.
And a blind old man was last to approach.
Jesus had touched his eyes — and he received his sight!
Out of all that they saw and heard, the people marveled at this miracle most of all.
People whispered to each other: “He is truly from God, for the sick have recovered and even a blind man has received his sight!”
Jesus explained:
“Today — in front of you — I have healed a man who was blind. This one, who was blind, began to see the light!
“But, like this, now the soul must be healed! You — as souls! — should see the Light of the Holy Spirit, hear the Words of God, Who is always near you — for there is no place where there is no God!
“Only one alone can shut oneself off from Him — by one’s own will or by ignorance!
“The Power of the Heavenly Father is great, and bodies can be healed. But these miracles are revealed through Me — in order to save not only the bodies from suffering but also the souls!
“Even before you saw and heard Me, most of you knew that there is God. And many of you believed that you had a firm faith…
“None of you doubt the words of the ancient prophets. And everyone reveres them.
“But the Man from God has come and talks about the Truth, which must be understood, accepted, and executed right now, — and people begin to doubt, be lazy, or postpone the transformation of themselves-souls for later!
“But the life of each of us is happening right now in front of God, not in the past and not in the future! Right now, a time has been assigned for your decisions and your transformation!
“And when tomorrow comes — then, too, in every hour, in every moment of your lives, you will be before the sight of the Heavenly Father!
“God can perform miracles with healing bodies — to strengthen faith. But He does not do — instead of people — their work on the transformation of souls!
“Each of you does your own deeds in life: in fields, in houses, in growing grain, in firing pottery, carpentry or working with metals, or, like most women, cooking meals and taking care of children and the home.
“But there is the main work appointed by God to man: it is the labor on oneself-soul.
“Many parables have been composed on how a father instructs his sons to multiply his wealth — and then looks at how they work.
“But should we talk here about earthly wealth?
“Leaving the body, the soul cannot take with it anything of value from the world, except for the love that one has cultivated in oneself and distributed to all around!
“Material wealth grows when a person accumulates it in order to own it.
“The real wealth of man, which has value in the subsequent life, grows when a person gives what he or she has!
“The more love a person gives to others — the more rich, abundant, and strong love he or she becomes as a soul.
“One, who is giving love, multiplies it both in oneself and around oneself! He or she is like a sower who sows good seeds!
“Understand: what you give — multiplies the wealth of yourself-soul! Whether it’s earthly gifts or spiritual gifts, little or large gifts — give them with love — and the beauty and strength of the souls will grow!
“The more the soul is purified and cultivated with good qualities — the more the Divine world opens for such a soul!
“The seed, planted in the soil, is, at first, in darkness. The root appears, and then the sprout grows from the soil — so that the plant can see the light.
“This is the miracle of birth. But this is only the beginning of its life in this world.
“The plant eats from the ground through the roots — as well as from the light of the Sun and the rains spilling from the sky.
“A lot of time must pass, so that a sufficiently strong tree, capable of bearing fruits, grows from the seed.
“Likewise, a soul needs to grow both in the earthly world, and in the Light of the Divine Spirits! And also, it must be watered with the moisture of the true knowledge.
“People-souls are sent to the Earth in order to grow and to learn, first of all, how to increase one’s love! That’s how souls approach God, Who is Perfect Love!
“A powerful tree will not grow from a seed if it is deprived of its nutrition from the soil. But it will also not grow if it is deprived of light and moisture.
“The soul must be nurtured like such a tree.
“A Great and Perfect Soul can be made from a small seed!
“The miracle of birth in the Light, when the soul attains faith, then begins to feel the Presence of Living God and see His Light — is like the life of a sprout which squeezes through the soil to the surface and then grows.
“Ahead of each of you, lies a great effort to transform and nurture yourself-soul! It will not happen all at once. But every moment of your lives can be filled with that conscious cultivation of love and wisdom that the Heavenly Father is waiting for His children!
“People do not have the opportunity to simply ‘run away’ from the problems that they carry in themselves, from prejudices that are kept in the mind, from harmful habits. But it is necessary to constantly rid the soul of perverse qualities and develop new properties, skills, and a clean and benevolent mindset. This is your work for God!
“And there is no way to approach God, to learn to feel, see, and hear Him, until this work is accomplished.
“As if covered with dust and clods of dirt — the soul trudges along being burdened with vices! And these accumulated layers are also covered with ‘masked attires’, which hide that dirt from the eyes of people around — from those people who can see only the outside.
“The soul must cast off those ‘vestments’ of false grandeur, ostentatious decency, and cleanse itself from the filth of all other vices! Let it be like this: naked and purified — the soul must appear before God!”
“And what sacrifices should we bring to God for these healings? Should we bring them to You?” — one of those, who had been healed on this day, asked.
“I do not do anything from Myself! But I do what God desires — the Heavenly Father of both Mine and of all of you!
“Think yourselves: what does God need from man?
“Is it really pleasing for God to see the torment of the innocent lambs being killed? Does it really purify you from the sins that have been committed by you? No! So is it possible to show your gratitude to God in this way?
“And does God need money to be brought to the priests? How can the ‘sacrifice’ of such actions be pleasing to God? Is it true that since many of you have been healed by the Power of God today, that you should go to the temple and contribute money for killing animals or for other ‘thankful’ rituals?
“No! Let the gratitude, which was born in your hearts, light the lamps of the unquenchable love that will never cease to burn in yourselves-souls! Let your ‘sacrifice’ to God be your rejection of your own evil desires, thoughts, words, and deeds of unkindness!
“Let your kind deeds, done for all around, be your thanksgiving to God!
“Man is not a body or a mind, but a soul, capable of loving and thinking, even while living in the body or without a body.
“The bodiless soul is able to think, rejoice, cognize, and love!
“And it is for personal development, first of all, that God sends souls to evolve in bodies!
“But, unfortunately, not all people, born on the Earth, are aware of these tasks and opportunities!
“Human life can be like the life of animals: it takes place, first of all, in cares for food and reproduction. But it can also be sublime — thanks to the awareness of life and to spiritual efforts!”
… Together with all the others, I listened to Jesus and the understanding filled me.
Among the people waiting for Jesus, there was our rich neighbor Sarah.
She always looked with hostility at what was happening in our house when Jesus was here. Often, evil gossips began their journey starting precisely from her lips.
Once, she even told me:
“Why do you take all of them in? They are freeloaders, they live in your house, they eat… And they do not pay you for the accomodations!
“And they say that this Jesus can feed a whole crowd! He only breaks one loaf of bread — and everyone receives enough food!
“All of this is lies! They only use your naivety and kindness! You and Lazarus need to be smarter!”
… I was indignant:
“Come to your senses, Sarah! Since when do we accept payment from dear guests and friends?!”
“All people earn their bread by their labor! But these ones — walk, using their strange speeches to tear everyone away from the really necessary deeds! They will completely ruin your sister! And you and Lazarus consider it an honor to receive them! Do you really think that they are saints?”
… I then waved my hand and went away, not wanting to get involved in a dispute…
And now Sarah — on her knees and all in tears — stood among those asking for help from Jesus…
… In my mind, there was a malevolent thought that Sarah got what she deserved… After all, often, it is only when people comprehend suffering and misfortune that they remember about God! And now — Sarah needed Jesus, Whom she had always despised and slandered! He had become needed — only after a certain misfortune had come to her house!…
With an effort, I drove this thought away: “Do not take revenge on the offenders even in your thoughts! Do not rejoice in the misfortunes of even evil people!” — Jesus taught us. We should not triumph when a person receives punishment — even if it is deserved! After all, perhaps, Sarah’s eyes have been opened now!…
I remembered the words of Jesus: “God comes to the house of every man in different ways…”.
… And Sarah howled from grief, crawled on her knees to Jesus, clutched the edges of His clothes and asked:
“My son is dying! Have mercy! Help me! Save him! This morning, he had fallen from a cliff and landed against the rocks! And he still has not regained consciousness!”
… And behind Sarah, through the crowd, her servants walked, carrying her son on a stretcher: a boy of about ten, who was unconscious.
“God — the Father of Mine and yours — in His Power — is omnipotent over all! Do you believe, Sarah, in His Power, Justice, and Omnipotence?”
“There was no faith in me before, even though I considered myself a believer!… I am a sinner before You, because I was mistaken! Forgive me! Save my son!”
“Try not to forget what you have realized now, Sarah! Your son will be healthy!”
Jesus stretched His hands over the boy — and he woke up and got up!
The boy came to Jesus, embraced Him and stood there for a long time. Jesus also embraced the boy and said something quietly to him alone.
And there was silence, all the people around kept quiet…
Then Jesus healed many sick people and answered their questions.
And a blind old man was last to approach.
Jesus had touched his eyes — and he received his sight!
Out of all that they saw and heard, the people marveled at this miracle most of all.
People whispered to each other: “He is truly from God, for the sick have recovered and even a blind man has received his sight!”
Jesus explained:
“Today — in front of you — I have healed a man who was blind. This one, who was blind, began to see the light!
“But, like this, now the soul must be healed! You — as souls! — should see the Light of the Holy Spirit, hear the Words of God, Who is always near you — for there is no place where there is no God!
“Only one alone can shut oneself off from Him — by one’s own will or by ignorance!
“The Power of the Heavenly Father is great, and bodies can be healed. But these miracles are revealed through Me — in order to save not only the bodies from suffering but also the souls!
“Even before you saw and heard Me, most of you knew that there is God. And many of you believed that you had a firm faith…
“None of you doubt the words of the ancient prophets. And everyone reveres them.
“But the Man from God has come and talks about the Truth, which must be understood, accepted, and executed right now, — and people begin to doubt, be lazy, or postpone the transformation of themselves-souls for later!
“But the life of each of us is happening right now in front of God, not in the past and not in the future! Right now, a time has been assigned for your decisions and your transformation!
“And when tomorrow comes — then, too, in every hour, in every moment of your lives, you will be before the sight of the Heavenly Father!
“God can perform miracles with healing bodies — to strengthen faith. But He does not do — instead of people — their work on the transformation of souls!
“Each of you does your own deeds in life: in fields, in houses, in growing grain, in firing pottery, carpentry or working with metals, or, like most women, cooking meals and taking care of children and the home.
“But there is the main work appointed by God to man: it is the labor on oneself-soul.
“Many parables have been composed on how a father instructs his sons to multiply his wealth — and then looks at how they work.
“But should we talk here about earthly wealth?
“Leaving the body, the soul cannot take with it anything of value from the world, except for the love that one has cultivated in oneself and distributed to all around!
“Material wealth grows when a person accumulates it in order to own it.
“The real wealth of man, which has value in the subsequent life, grows when a person gives what he or she has!
“The more love a person gives to others — the more rich, abundant, and strong love he or she becomes as a soul.
“One, who is giving love, multiplies it both in oneself and around oneself! He or she is like a sower who sows good seeds!
“Understand: what you give — multiplies the wealth of yourself-soul! Whether it’s earthly gifts or spiritual gifts, little or large gifts — give them with love — and the beauty and strength of the souls will grow!
“The more the soul is purified and cultivated with good qualities — the more the Divine world opens for such a soul!
“The seed, planted in the soil, is, at first, in darkness. The root appears, and then the sprout grows from the soil — so that the plant can see the light.
“This is the miracle of birth. But this is only the beginning of its life in this world.
“The plant eats from the ground through the roots — as well as from the light of the Sun and the rains spilling from the sky.
“A lot of time must pass, so that a sufficiently strong tree, capable of bearing fruits, grows from the seed.
“Likewise, a soul needs to grow both in the earthly world, and in the Light of the Divine Spirits! And also, it must be watered with the moisture of the true knowledge.
“People-souls are sent to the Earth in order to grow and to learn, first of all, how to increase one’s love! That’s how souls approach God, Who is Perfect Love!
“A powerful tree will not grow from a seed if it is deprived of its nutrition from the soil. But it will also not grow if it is deprived of light and moisture.
“The soul must be nurtured like such a tree.
“A Great and Perfect Soul can be made from a small seed!
“The miracle of birth in the Light, when the soul attains faith, then begins to feel the Presence of Living God and see His Light — is like the life of a sprout which squeezes through the soil to the surface and then grows.
“Ahead of each of you, lies a great effort to transform and nurture yourself-soul! It will not happen all at once. But every moment of your lives can be filled with that conscious cultivation of love and wisdom that the Heavenly Father is waiting for His children!
“People do not have the opportunity to simply ‘run away’ from the problems that they carry in themselves, from prejudices that are kept in the mind, from harmful habits. But it is necessary to constantly rid the soul of perverse qualities and develop new properties, skills, and a clean and benevolent mindset. This is your work for God!
“And there is no way to approach God, to learn to feel, see, and hear Him, until this work is accomplished.
“As if covered with dust and clods of dirt — the soul trudges along being burdened with vices! And these accumulated layers are also covered with ‘masked attires’, which hide that dirt from the eyes of people around — from those people who can see only the outside.
“The soul must cast off those ‘vestments’ of false grandeur, ostentatious decency, and cleanse itself from the filth of all other vices! Let it be like this: naked and purified — the soul must appear before God!”
“And what sacrifices should we bring to God for these healings? Should we bring them to You?” — one of those, who had been healed on this day, asked.
“I do not do anything from Myself! But I do what God desires — the Heavenly Father of both Mine and of all of you!
“Think yourselves: what does God need from man?
“Is it really pleasing for God to see the torment of the innocent lambs being killed? Does it really purify you from the sins that have been committed by you? No! So is it possible to show your gratitude to God in this way?
“And does God need money to be brought to the priests? How can the ‘sacrifice’ of such actions be pleasing to God? Is it true that since many of you have been healed by the Power of God today, that you should go to the temple and contribute money for killing animals or for other ‘thankful’ rituals?
“No! Let the gratitude, which was born in your hearts, light the lamps of the unquenchable love that will never cease to burn in yourselves-souls! Let your ‘sacrifice’ to God be your rejection of your own evil desires, thoughts, words, and deeds of unkindness!
“Let your kind deeds, done for all around, be your thanksgiving to God!
“Man is not a body or a mind, but a soul, capable of loving and thinking, even while living in the body or without a body.
“The bodiless soul is able to think, rejoice, cognize, and love!
“And it is for personal development, first of all, that God sends souls to evolve in bodies!
“But, unfortunately, not all people, born on the Earth, are aware of these tasks and opportunities!
“Human life can be like the life of animals: it takes place, first of all, in cares for food and reproduction. But it can also be sublime — thanks to the awareness of life and to spiritual efforts!”
… Together with all the others, I listened to Jesus and the understanding filled me.
* * *
After that, I talked with Mary. And she told me another story about how Jesus helps people:
“I’ve seen many miracles in the past months of separation from you! He heals and preaches almost every day! It even seems to me sometimes that I have become accustomed to miracles…
“But yesterday afternoon, I saw something that had struck me more than all those miraculous healings…
“The greatest miracle happens when the soul sees and directly perceives God! And then — the soul does not lose this, but keeps the Light, which has ignited in the heart, and augments It!
“He also spoke about this to people that time. But not many understood Him…
“Then, as we were walking, a huge crowd followed us.
“Jesus, I repeat, already spoke with these people and had healed many of them… But they did not understand almost anything from His speeches! They tried to touch His body… They kept on wanting and wanting miracles and blessings from Him…
“The crowd was huge! There was dust lifted up by many feet, heat, and stuffiness…
“Suddenly, an elderly woman fell down. And because of this, she was almost trampled to death!
“I would not have seen this, and none of the disciples would have noticed if Jesus had not stopped.
“She, exhausted, layed on the side of the road, where she was dragged, so that the crowd would not hurt her even more…
“She looked after the departed — with despair! Her whole appearance seemed to say: ‘Jesus, do not leave! I no longer have the strength to follow You!…’.
“Jesus had returned and came close to her. People parted before Him.
“He bent down, His hands touched her head and heart area.
He said:
‘For those, who want to be with Me, I am always near! There is no distance between us, and there is no time of parting! I am always in your spiritual heart!
‘Get up and return to your house! You can go your way with Me in your heart — all your life! And the paradise will be opened before you, when your hour comes!’
“He lifted and kissed her.
“She smiled — happily! — and went home, without looking back.
“Thousands of people continued to crowd around Him… But it was this woman who got the most that day!”
“But you, too, follow after the body of Jesus. And, no matter how much I ask you, you will not stay at home with me and Lazarus. Is that not so?”
“Yes, it’s so…
“Once John asked Jesus about this:
‘Teacher, why do You say to some people to leave everything and follow You, and to others — that they go to their houses and only live a life of righteousness before God? You teach them only to keep the commandments of mercy, caring for others, and love for God. Why do You advise differently?’
“Jesus answered:
‘Do many need the kind of life that you now live with Me? Would they not get bored soon, desiring their herds and plowlands, the relatives that they left, and will they not want to return to their old life? It is always better to move, even slowly, but still approaching God — than in a brief impulse to rush, and then rush back!
‘Do many people want and can learn from Me what I teach you? The purpose is not to just herd flocks of sheep, but to instruct the children of God in the ways of righteous life, to sow not wheat but seeds of knowledge of God, to cultivate the fields of souls, bringing a harvest to the Heavenly Father.
‘Small souls cannot yet contain all the understanding of the Heavenly Kingdom. The Infinity of the Kingdom cannot be embraced by them yet… And they cannot yet manifest the Love and Power of the Heavenly Father — through themselves…’
‘But can we really do this?’ — John asked.
“And Jesus answered Him:
‘That’s why I have chosen you and teach you. I do so because you can do it! And let everyone do what he or she can — for the glory of the Heavenly Father! Then — power will increase, and your skills will grow!’”
“I’ve seen many miracles in the past months of separation from you! He heals and preaches almost every day! It even seems to me sometimes that I have become accustomed to miracles…
“But yesterday afternoon, I saw something that had struck me more than all those miraculous healings…
“The greatest miracle happens when the soul sees and directly perceives God! And then — the soul does not lose this, but keeps the Light, which has ignited in the heart, and augments It!
“He also spoke about this to people that time. But not many understood Him…
“Then, as we were walking, a huge crowd followed us.
“Jesus, I repeat, already spoke with these people and had healed many of them… But they did not understand almost anything from His speeches! They tried to touch His body… They kept on wanting and wanting miracles and blessings from Him…
“The crowd was huge! There was dust lifted up by many feet, heat, and stuffiness…
“Suddenly, an elderly woman fell down. And because of this, she was almost trampled to death!
“I would not have seen this, and none of the disciples would have noticed if Jesus had not stopped.
“She, exhausted, layed on the side of the road, where she was dragged, so that the crowd would not hurt her even more…
“She looked after the departed — with despair! Her whole appearance seemed to say: ‘Jesus, do not leave! I no longer have the strength to follow You!…’.
“Jesus had returned and came close to her. People parted before Him.
“He bent down, His hands touched her head and heart area.
He said:
‘For those, who want to be with Me, I am always near! There is no distance between us, and there is no time of parting! I am always in your spiritual heart!
‘Get up and return to your house! You can go your way with Me in your heart — all your life! And the paradise will be opened before you, when your hour comes!’
“He lifted and kissed her.
“She smiled — happily! — and went home, without looking back.
“Thousands of people continued to crowd around Him… But it was this woman who got the most that day!”
“But you, too, follow after the body of Jesus. And, no matter how much I ask you, you will not stay at home with me and Lazarus. Is that not so?”
“Yes, it’s so…
“Once John asked Jesus about this:
‘Teacher, why do You say to some people to leave everything and follow You, and to others — that they go to their houses and only live a life of righteousness before God? You teach them only to keep the commandments of mercy, caring for others, and love for God. Why do You advise differently?’
“Jesus answered:
‘Do many need the kind of life that you now live with Me? Would they not get bored soon, desiring their herds and plowlands, the relatives that they left, and will they not want to return to their old life? It is always better to move, even slowly, but still approaching God — than in a brief impulse to rush, and then rush back!
‘Do many people want and can learn from Me what I teach you? The purpose is not to just herd flocks of sheep, but to instruct the children of God in the ways of righteous life, to sow not wheat but seeds of knowledge of God, to cultivate the fields of souls, bringing a harvest to the Heavenly Father.
‘Small souls cannot yet contain all the understanding of the Heavenly Kingdom. The Infinity of the Kingdom cannot be embraced by them yet… And they cannot yet manifest the Love and Power of the Heavenly Father — through themselves…’
‘But can we really do this?’ — John asked.
“And Jesus answered Him:
‘That’s why I have chosen you and teach you. I do so because you can do it! And let everyone do what he or she can — for the glory of the Heavenly Father! Then — power will increase, and your skills will grow!’”
Chapter 4.
The Resurrection of Lazarus
The Resurrection of Lazarus
Now, I knew for sure that Jesus is Divine and that everything that He teaches is true!
But this unexpectedly added problems for me…
I began sometimes to fear Jesus: being afraid that He sees all my shortcomings and knows all my sinful thoughts…
When I first thought about the fact that God knows everything about every person at all times — to me, this did not seem like a difficulty for my life… But when a Divine Teacher is near, and I myself do not restrain irritation, vain thoughts, and do not choose the Divine… And He sees all this…
I had not yet been able to live in the spiritual heart all the time, and bad thoughts often crept into my head, like flies that flock to honey.
Realizing that I was sinning, sometimes I still allowed envy and even despondency to overcome me…
I thought about how lucky Mary was because she was always with Jesus, because He had chosen her and loves her… Since childhood, I had thought that Mary was always prettier than me: slimmer, slenderer… And that she always received much more attention and love than me… And I also wanted to experience the love, in which, I saw Mary live! Now she was always shining like a gentle sun! And this love would pour out not only on Jesus, but on everything and everyone around!
And then, at times, I thought sadly that I was already quite old and that it was time to get married and start a family… And I dreamed that, for example, Andrew — suddenly — would fall in love with me… And that he would live in our house… And that he would be my husband…
I understood that it was not to be: Andrew not have been able abandon Jesus and to live a “normal life”: the kind that Lazarus and I had been doing so far.
Or, other times, because of loneliness and vain cares, or because of the understanding of my sinfulness before God, — I fell into despair and even cried at times from powerlessness and self-pity…
I continued to live as before… Even though I knew now that I could live in a different way…
I was ashamed of this — but there was nothing that I could do about it!…
Of course, I tried to repent, to keep my thoughts on God… But it only helped for a while…
Only sometimes it happened that I could immerse myself in the abode of the heart and feel God for brief moments… And then the bad thoughts left me — and I became filled with happiness, joy, and the hope that everything would turn out well for me…
At such moments, I forgot all the bad things for a while — and it was so joyful and good!
But more often, I felt unhappy and hopeless…
Instead of thanking God for the wonderful opportunity to see and hear Jesus, to learn from Him — I was sad about my fate: about unfulfilled hopes and unsatisfied desires.
And then a misfortune happened in our house: Lazarus had fallen ill.
At first, I was not really afraid. But the disease developed rapidly. And Lazarus once asked:
“I’m dying… Send someone for Jesus, Martha! Only He alone can heal this illness…”
… I went to our neighbor Sarah, who had changed a lot for the better since that time when Jesus had healed her son.
She, at my request, immediately sent her servants to various places, so that they could find Jesus and call for His help.
Two more days had passed.
Lazarus became worse and worse…
And then only Mary had come instead of Jesus.
In alarm, I asked:
“But where is Jesus? Why are you alone?”
“He will be here later. He said that it is necessary…”
“But Lazarus is not doing well!… Oh, why did not you bring Him, did not beg Him!…”
… We together went to our brother.
The pallid face of Lazarus seemed to become gray from suffering. He became very thin over the past days. It was clear that the death of his body was already very close…
Lazarus was delighted to see Mary. Then, realizing that Jesus had not come with her and that his hopes of help had not come true, he said:
“My sisters, sit beside me! Do not cry! Listen to me! It seems that Jesus will not come and save me… I’m dying…
“Please, be silent! I know that now it is so! And false consolations are not necessary!
“Apparently, I am not worthy to be healed by Him.”
… I slightly objected:
“But Jesus saved even those who were unfamiliar to Him! And the biggest sinners — He healed even them too! Who is without sin?!…”
“It’s different here…
“After all, I sometimes did not listen to Him, even when He was here with all of us.
“Sometimes, I heard and remembered the words of Jesus, and admired them… But I did not begin to live as He taught! I thought that I would still have time, and that I’m not old yet, and that there is still a long life in front of me…
“I even thought that the very presence of Jesus in our house, and the friendship with Him — are already protecting us from all possible troubles!…
“And it seemed to me that I could ‘get rich’ with a worldly life!… And that I could be completely happy, satisfying only my earthly desires and needs…
“It happens that we ourselves allow ourselves to sin and think: ‘We will have time to become better to stand before God!’
“I thought that I was kinder and more righteous than many other people! And — that I do not sin often! And the fact that I did not make the spiritual efforts, which were feasible to me, — I did not at all consider this to be a sin… I postponed all this…
“But, as it turns out, death has come — and now I will stand face to face with the Heavenly Father and it’s time for me to give an account of my whole life… It pains me that I missed the good opportunities!
“Oh, if I had understood this before, I would not have wasted the days of my life with so many unnecessary worries, so many unimportant and insignificant things!…
To get rich, to achieve prosperity in earthly life and respect from surrounding people, and then…
“And now — for me this then has come!… And I realize that I do not have enough time…
“Now I regret it, but it’s too late…
“You, Mary and Martha, — you have not to repeat my mistake! Live — like Jesus teaches! You can do this! I know it, my beloveds!
“And tell Jesus that I loved Him! I’m sorry that it all has happened so: that I did not do what I could… Grant me, oh God, an hour of death that is not so bitter and so scary!
… Lazarus could no longer speak.
I burst into tears, full of despair.
Mary, on the other hand, shone more and more with the light of love and tenderness, trying to embrace and fill Lazarus with this gentle peace. She took the dying man’s hands, squeezed them in her hands and said:
“All that we can do now, my dear brother, is to be filled with love for our Heavenly Father! He is the Infinite Love! Let’s trust in His Undying Power! Let everything be done according to His Will!”
And it worked! It seemed that Mary was able to remove the pain of the body and, most importantly, to calm the soul a little. The face of Lazarus had brightened. He no longer looked at us, but gave himself completely to God.
Soon he lost consciousness, and died at night.
But this unexpectedly added problems for me…
I began sometimes to fear Jesus: being afraid that He sees all my shortcomings and knows all my sinful thoughts…
When I first thought about the fact that God knows everything about every person at all times — to me, this did not seem like a difficulty for my life… But when a Divine Teacher is near, and I myself do not restrain irritation, vain thoughts, and do not choose the Divine… And He sees all this…
I had not yet been able to live in the spiritual heart all the time, and bad thoughts often crept into my head, like flies that flock to honey.
Realizing that I was sinning, sometimes I still allowed envy and even despondency to overcome me…
I thought about how lucky Mary was because she was always with Jesus, because He had chosen her and loves her… Since childhood, I had thought that Mary was always prettier than me: slimmer, slenderer… And that she always received much more attention and love than me… And I also wanted to experience the love, in which, I saw Mary live! Now she was always shining like a gentle sun! And this love would pour out not only on Jesus, but on everything and everyone around!
And then, at times, I thought sadly that I was already quite old and that it was time to get married and start a family… And I dreamed that, for example, Andrew — suddenly — would fall in love with me… And that he would live in our house… And that he would be my husband…
I understood that it was not to be: Andrew not have been able abandon Jesus and to live a “normal life”: the kind that Lazarus and I had been doing so far.
Or, other times, because of loneliness and vain cares, or because of the understanding of my sinfulness before God, — I fell into despair and even cried at times from powerlessness and self-pity…
I continued to live as before… Even though I knew now that I could live in a different way…
I was ashamed of this — but there was nothing that I could do about it!…
Of course, I tried to repent, to keep my thoughts on God… But it only helped for a while…
Only sometimes it happened that I could immerse myself in the abode of the heart and feel God for brief moments… And then the bad thoughts left me — and I became filled with happiness, joy, and the hope that everything would turn out well for me…
At such moments, I forgot all the bad things for a while — and it was so joyful and good!
But more often, I felt unhappy and hopeless…
Instead of thanking God for the wonderful opportunity to see and hear Jesus, to learn from Him — I was sad about my fate: about unfulfilled hopes and unsatisfied desires.
And then a misfortune happened in our house: Lazarus had fallen ill.
At first, I was not really afraid. But the disease developed rapidly. And Lazarus once asked:
“I’m dying… Send someone for Jesus, Martha! Only He alone can heal this illness…”
… I went to our neighbor Sarah, who had changed a lot for the better since that time when Jesus had healed her son.
She, at my request, immediately sent her servants to various places, so that they could find Jesus and call for His help.
Two more days had passed.
Lazarus became worse and worse…
And then only Mary had come instead of Jesus.
In alarm, I asked:
“But where is Jesus? Why are you alone?”
“He will be here later. He said that it is necessary…”
“But Lazarus is not doing well!… Oh, why did not you bring Him, did not beg Him!…”
… We together went to our brother.
The pallid face of Lazarus seemed to become gray from suffering. He became very thin over the past days. It was clear that the death of his body was already very close…
Lazarus was delighted to see Mary. Then, realizing that Jesus had not come with her and that his hopes of help had not come true, he said:
“My sisters, sit beside me! Do not cry! Listen to me! It seems that Jesus will not come and save me… I’m dying…
“Please, be silent! I know that now it is so! And false consolations are not necessary!
“Apparently, I am not worthy to be healed by Him.”
… I slightly objected:
“But Jesus saved even those who were unfamiliar to Him! And the biggest sinners — He healed even them too! Who is without sin?!…”
“It’s different here…
“After all, I sometimes did not listen to Him, even when He was here with all of us.
“Sometimes, I heard and remembered the words of Jesus, and admired them… But I did not begin to live as He taught! I thought that I would still have time, and that I’m not old yet, and that there is still a long life in front of me…
“I even thought that the very presence of Jesus in our house, and the friendship with Him — are already protecting us from all possible troubles!…
“And it seemed to me that I could ‘get rich’ with a worldly life!… And that I could be completely happy, satisfying only my earthly desires and needs…
“It happens that we ourselves allow ourselves to sin and think: ‘We will have time to become better to stand before God!’
“I thought that I was kinder and more righteous than many other people! And — that I do not sin often! And the fact that I did not make the spiritual efforts, which were feasible to me, — I did not at all consider this to be a sin… I postponed all this…
“But, as it turns out, death has come — and now I will stand face to face with the Heavenly Father and it’s time for me to give an account of my whole life… It pains me that I missed the good opportunities!
“Oh, if I had understood this before, I would not have wasted the days of my life with so many unnecessary worries, so many unimportant and insignificant things!…
To get rich, to achieve prosperity in earthly life and respect from surrounding people, and then…
“And now — for me this then has come!… And I realize that I do not have enough time…
“Now I regret it, but it’s too late…
“You, Mary and Martha, — you have not to repeat my mistake! Live — like Jesus teaches! You can do this! I know it, my beloveds!
“And tell Jesus that I loved Him! I’m sorry that it all has happened so: that I did not do what I could… Grant me, oh God, an hour of death that is not so bitter and so scary!
… Lazarus could no longer speak.
I burst into tears, full of despair.
Mary, on the other hand, shone more and more with the light of love and tenderness, trying to embrace and fill Lazarus with this gentle peace. She took the dying man’s hands, squeezed them in her hands and said:
“All that we can do now, my dear brother, is to be filled with love for our Heavenly Father! He is the Infinite Love! Let’s trust in His Undying Power! Let everything be done according to His Will!”
And it worked! It seemed that Mary was able to remove the pain of the body and, most importantly, to calm the soul a little. The face of Lazarus had brightened. He no longer looked at us, but gave himself completely to God.
Soon he lost consciousness, and died at night.
* * *
The body of Lazarus, wrapped in veils, was placed in a cave, and a stone was piled on it.
It was four days before Jesus had come.
I met Him all in tears:
“You’re late, Jesus! He has died… It’s the fourth day… If You had been near; our brother would not have died!”
“Well, why are you crying as if you did not listen to Me at all? Perhaps, maybe, is it a time for Me, too, to cry and mourn?
“After all, there is something to mourn: for Lazarus did not have time to comprehend everything that he could have in this life…”
“He was sorry about that, Jesus!”
“Do not cry, Martha! Let’s go!
“You and Mary can now show Me where his body was buried.”
… Together with Jesus, there were His disciples and many more people who heard that Jesus had returned.
We had arrived at the cave where Lazarus was buried. At the request of Jesus, several powerful men rolled the stone aside.
Jesus called out:
“Lazarus, rise!”
… The soul — according to the united Will of Jesus and the Heavenly Father, — returned to the body of Lazarus!
All those present saw it, and this miracle shocked so many of the witnesses! And many, who did not believe Jesus before, now believed that He was from God.
Lazarus was helped to get rid of the covers, in which his body was wrapped during the burial, and his body was clothed in clean and new clothes, which Philip had given.
Jesus embraced Lazarus:
“By the grace of the Heavenly Father, you are given the opportunity to return to this body and have time to correct those mistakes that you have committed. And also — to work on yourself-soul so that during the life in this body you deserve the right to enter the Heavenly Kingdom! For one, who has not cognized this Kingdom during one’s life in the body, does not receive it after the death of the body!”
It was four days before Jesus had come.
I met Him all in tears:
“You’re late, Jesus! He has died… It’s the fourth day… If You had been near; our brother would not have died!”
“Well, why are you crying as if you did not listen to Me at all? Perhaps, maybe, is it a time for Me, too, to cry and mourn?
“After all, there is something to mourn: for Lazarus did not have time to comprehend everything that he could have in this life…”
“He was sorry about that, Jesus!”
“Do not cry, Martha! Let’s go!
“You and Mary can now show Me where his body was buried.”
… Together with Jesus, there were His disciples and many more people who heard that Jesus had returned.
We had arrived at the cave where Lazarus was buried. At the request of Jesus, several powerful men rolled the stone aside.
Jesus called out:
“Lazarus, rise!”
… The soul — according to the united Will of Jesus and the Heavenly Father, — returned to the body of Lazarus!
All those present saw it, and this miracle shocked so many of the witnesses! And many, who did not believe Jesus before, now believed that He was from God.
Lazarus was helped to get rid of the covers, in which his body was wrapped during the burial, and his body was clothed in clean and new clothes, which Philip had given.
Jesus embraced Lazarus:
“By the grace of the Heavenly Father, you are given the opportunity to return to this body and have time to correct those mistakes that you have committed. And also — to work on yourself-soul so that during the life in this body you deserve the right to enter the Heavenly Kingdom! For one, who has not cognized this Kingdom during one’s life in the body, does not receive it after the death of the body!”
* * *
When the strangers had parted, we returned to our house.
Lazarus was now perfectly well. He seemed to be younger, cheerful, and full of strength and hope, like never before.
In the evening, Jesus offered:
“Lazarus, tell us about what you experienced, so that everyone here will know this from you.”
… And Lazarus told about his bitter afflictions before his death and about what he had experienced when he had died:
“To receive the Divine Instructions and not fulfill them is an expression of disrespect and disregard for God!
“It is negligible — the happiness from all the earthly joys, from all the earthly successes, from the respect and honor in the eyes of other people, and from the savings for one’s well-being in the world!
“I understood this only before death itself, when there was no time and energy to change anything.
“Each of us is given the opportunity to live here — in order to obtain the purity of the heart and of the soul! We must live to transform the souls and help others, to become more perfect and to approach God — according to the state of the souls!
“This had become very stirringly clear to me only when I saw the approach of death!
“I was scared to die… At that moment, Mary helped me a lot, so that I could accept in peace and love the inevitability of death and make the transition into the other worlds.
“When I left the body, I saw a light that was, as it were, a little bit in the haze. And in this golden mist, I was met by my parents and many other souls. There was nothing bad or scary. Understanding that there is no death at all was comforting and even joyful.
“But it was not that perfect state that I experienced several times when Jesus revealed to us the Radiance of the Holy Spirit, granting us by His Power the opportunity to experience the Supreme Divine state!
“And after… I do not know how to describe it to you…
“I thought about this Fiery Light of the Holy Spirit — and then I saw all my life lived: I saw what was good in it, and what was bad. All this was explained to me in the Divine Light — with gentle caresses, without pronounced words. It was coming… like an understanding.
“I had realized that I was not yet able to enter the Bliss of the Life in that Light… For I — as a soul — was different from that Light. I was — as if denser. As if the grayish shadows inside myself-soul were keeping me from the possibility of merging with this Light and dissolving in It…
“And I asked for the possibility of correcting my mistakes and achieving the beautiful world of the Holy Spirit.
“Then I saw Jesus in the Shining Light and heard Him calling me. And I went to this call.
“And now, I am with you again! And my gratitude to Jesus is without bounds!”
… We all listened in amazement to the story of Lazarus.
Then Jesus summed it up:
“Understand that each of you, and not just our dear friend Lazarus who has returned to us, is gifted by God with the miracle of life in the body on the Earth, during which there is an opportunity to approach God!
“Let the return of Lazarus be that miracle that will remind many people in the future that life is valuable and that it is not given to everyone in vain! Yes, a person can, during his or her life in the body, cultivate the ability to unite with God!
“Spiritual transformation requires efforts and time. And it makes sense not to squander and waste the time of life on the Earth!
“And the fear of the death of the body disappears when we know the Heavenly Father.
“Tomorrow morning, we will continue the talk about those real efforts that will help everyone, who wants with all his or her heart, — the Oneness with God!”
Lazarus was now perfectly well. He seemed to be younger, cheerful, and full of strength and hope, like never before.
In the evening, Jesus offered:
“Lazarus, tell us about what you experienced, so that everyone here will know this from you.”
… And Lazarus told about his bitter afflictions before his death and about what he had experienced when he had died:
“To receive the Divine Instructions and not fulfill them is an expression of disrespect and disregard for God!
“It is negligible — the happiness from all the earthly joys, from all the earthly successes, from the respect and honor in the eyes of other people, and from the savings for one’s well-being in the world!
“I understood this only before death itself, when there was no time and energy to change anything.
“Each of us is given the opportunity to live here — in order to obtain the purity of the heart and of the soul! We must live to transform the souls and help others, to become more perfect and to approach God — according to the state of the souls!
“This had become very stirringly clear to me only when I saw the approach of death!
“I was scared to die… At that moment, Mary helped me a lot, so that I could accept in peace and love the inevitability of death and make the transition into the other worlds.
“When I left the body, I saw a light that was, as it were, a little bit in the haze. And in this golden mist, I was met by my parents and many other souls. There was nothing bad or scary. Understanding that there is no death at all was comforting and even joyful.
“But it was not that perfect state that I experienced several times when Jesus revealed to us the Radiance of the Holy Spirit, granting us by His Power the opportunity to experience the Supreme Divine state!
“And after… I do not know how to describe it to you…
“I thought about this Fiery Light of the Holy Spirit — and then I saw all my life lived: I saw what was good in it, and what was bad. All this was explained to me in the Divine Light — with gentle caresses, without pronounced words. It was coming… like an understanding.
“I had realized that I was not yet able to enter the Bliss of the Life in that Light… For I — as a soul — was different from that Light. I was — as if denser. As if the grayish shadows inside myself-soul were keeping me from the possibility of merging with this Light and dissolving in It…
“And I asked for the possibility of correcting my mistakes and achieving the beautiful world of the Holy Spirit.
“Then I saw Jesus in the Shining Light and heard Him calling me. And I went to this call.
“And now, I am with you again! And my gratitude to Jesus is without bounds!”
… We all listened in amazement to the story of Lazarus.
Then Jesus summed it up:
“Understand that each of you, and not just our dear friend Lazarus who has returned to us, is gifted by God with the miracle of life in the body on the Earth, during which there is an opportunity to approach God!
“Let the return of Lazarus be that miracle that will remind many people in the future that life is valuable and that it is not given to everyone in vain! Yes, a person can, during his or her life in the body, cultivate the ability to unite with God!
“Spiritual transformation requires efforts and time. And it makes sense not to squander and waste the time of life on the Earth!
“And the fear of the death of the body disappears when we know the Heavenly Father.
“Tomorrow morning, we will continue the talk about those real efforts that will help everyone, who wants with all his or her heart, — the Oneness with God!”
Chapter 5.
On Spiritual Work and Inner Silence
On Spiritual Work and Inner Silence
After the resurrection of my brother, Lazarus, Jesus and His disciples stayed in our house for a long time. Jesus taught all of us and sometimes many others, who came to see Him after hearing about Him.
At that time, Jesus told us a lot about the efforts that a person, who is rising closer to the Creator and who, for this purpose, is striving to cognize the whole of His Kingdom now, can make while there is still a body and while there are powers of the soul which can be directed precisely at comprehending the Divine.
In those days, He taught about the importance of mastering inner silence, that is, the state in which God is really cognizable.
In such cases, Jesus spoke in a special way. He elevated each of those, with whom He spoke, to that height of perception to which they were capable. And the space of love and silence was revealed in the souls of many, who listened to Him. And their understanding of God deepened.
… And this time, it happened to me for the first time too. That wondrous silence happened…
This silence seemed to stun me: my thoughts disappeared, and my mind became quiet… I heard the words of Jesus — with my heart, as a soul resurrected to the spiritual life. The meaning of His words… penetrated to the very depths of the soul. An understanding was born… from the inside! And everything that He spoke about suddenly became — the Great Reality! In great delight, the soul, which yearned for God, had managed to cognize, for a brief moment, the living silence in which the Divine Father was revealed!
But I will tell this in more detail…
At that time, Jesus told us a lot about the efforts that a person, who is rising closer to the Creator and who, for this purpose, is striving to cognize the whole of His Kingdom now, can make while there is still a body and while there are powers of the soul which can be directed precisely at comprehending the Divine.
In those days, He taught about the importance of mastering inner silence, that is, the state in which God is really cognizable.
In such cases, Jesus spoke in a special way. He elevated each of those, with whom He spoke, to that height of perception to which they were capable. And the space of love and silence was revealed in the souls of many, who listened to Him. And their understanding of God deepened.
… And this time, it happened to me for the first time too. That wondrous silence happened…
This silence seemed to stun me: my thoughts disappeared, and my mind became quiet… I heard the words of Jesus — with my heart, as a soul resurrected to the spiritual life. The meaning of His words… penetrated to the very depths of the soul. An understanding was born… from the inside! And everything that He spoke about suddenly became — the Great Reality! In great delight, the soul, which yearned for God, had managed to cognize, for a brief moment, the living silence in which the Divine Father was revealed!
But I will tell this in more detail…
* * *
In those days, I had many conversations with the disciple of Jesus, Philip. It is thanks to him that I — for the first time since my first meeting with Jesus — clearly understood that everything that He teaches is also for me, and not only for a few of His chosen disciples. And — that His every word is also addressed to me! And — that it is not enough just to listen! But it is necessary to understand everything and begin to practice it in each day of life, not waiting for the hour of death, and not expecting outside help or miracles. And — that the salvation of myself-soul from those problems, from those torments that keep one enslaved to material, perishable, and suffering-filled things — depends on me alone.
Philip told me a lot about Jesus, about their lives, about his understanding of how to overcome the difficulties that the closest disciples of Jesus also have.
With Andrew, with whom I was a bit in love, I was embarrassed.
My sister Mary was so absorbed in her love for Jesus that everything in the world for her became unimportant, and we rarely talked with her now.
The rest of Jesus’ disciples were as if a little removed from contact with worldly people. They did not answer my questions very willingly, because they treated me as an outsider, in whose house they are just guests…
But Philip — he became my friend from the time when he first set out to help me in the kitchen.
For example, I once asked:
“Tell me, Philip, had you ever before seen something like the miracle of the resurrection of the dead? Is it true that Jesus has authority over the life and death of any person?”
“You are talking about power… But this is something else… Jesus is not looking for power or glory… Yes, He has raised the dead before. But usually it was the return of the souls of children or teenagers to their bodies, if the bodies were not yet buried. Their fathers and mothers mourned — and then Jesus brought the souls back to life in their bodies. And something changed at the same time in the souls and destinies of all those around.
“Usually Jesus would ask us all to be silent about this: because His Teachings are not about such miracles at all.
“Jesus sometimes regrets our excessive trust in Him. Because each person must gain personal experience in spiritual cognition!
“Even if our bodies are always next to Jesus, it is precisely each one of us who must do the work for the ethical transformation of ourselves-souls. And it is a great work that the soul must perform in the worlds of Light, learning to perceive this Light and grow in It!
“Jesus carries around His body a space of Divine Love, Peace, Power, and Light. But even in order to just feel these Divine States, our previous efforts are needed. In particular, it requires a deep cleansing of the soul from all gross thoughts and emotions.
“Sometimes it seems to me that I have already learned to feel that Divine Space, which is always present around the Teacher… But — if I allow myself to have bad thoughts or emotions — then I find myself outside of that Space… And then again and again, I try to fill myself with love so that I can open the entrance to that Divine Light.
“Indeed, it is one thing to know that I should not be offended, angry, or jealous… But it is quite another — to learn how to live that way: so that such thoughts and emotions do not begin to arise and grow. Especially — when a sudden external cause suddenly appears…
“We, His closest disciples, came to Him, being all different.
“For example, even the appearance of your sister, Mary, among us has hurt many.
“For some, this was an opportunity to find envy in oneself — because Jesus began to give her much of His attention. But envy and jealousy due to not receiving the attention of the Teacher — is a very strong vice!
“For others, her appearance was a reason to see in oneself one’s own arrogance in relation to women.
“There were also other external causes that caused the appearance of our vicious thoughts and emotions. For example, Andrew, who had previously been taught for a long time by John-the-Baptist, was the most prepared among us to learn. And some of us, too, were sometimes jealous because of his success.
“Those who are concerned about their own successes or sufferings, also are jealous — they do not often listen to Jesus as they should, and usually do not hear everything or understand everything in His words. But this self, consisting of excessive focus of attention only to oneself: to one’s body, one’s own importance in the eyes of others, etc., must be destroyed — so that the Divine Self of the soul can shine!
“Yes, we often said to Jesus — in reverence to His Wisdom and Abilities: ‘You are the Great Teacher, the Savior of the world!’. And He, in response, reminded us that it is each of us who must teach ourselves the work of self-development! It must be carried out by each spiritual devotee through daily efforts to improve oneself!
“Once, He told us:
‘Most people around us crave miracles… But this is a false desire! Miracles do not help in any way! Perhaps they only strengthen the faith a little… But such faith is weak! The strong faith is that faith, which, not seeing miracles, knows about the Omnipotence of the Father!
‘Yes, I can embrace the whole Earth with Myself… Yes, my Love for people is great! But this does not mean that I should resurrect all the dead, heal all the sick, and give everyone a clear perception of the Divine!
‘Everyone should learn oneself! I can only help a little, so that people do not wander in search of how to approach spiritual purity, how to gain real achievements on the spiritual Path! And I am not called to save people from all their sufferings! Sufferings are painful lessons for the souls, and they are necessary!
‘I am here to show the Way!
‘Even though I am Consubstantial with the Father Spirit, I am only a tiny spark in the Universal Divine Flame! I am only a small drop in the Endless Ocean of the Perfect Universal United Consciousness: in the Ocean, Which fills the universe with Life! And — at the same time — even such a ‘small drop’ is capable of having all the Power of the Ocean when it expresses His Holy Will!
‘There, in the world that is called the Kingdom of the Father, is another state of being: the Life of the Divine Peace, Bliss, Love, and Power! This state of the Creator is usually not brought here: into the material world. And it’s possible only to open the gates, to show the way to the souls that have rushed towards Him!
‘The endless and omnipotent Kingdom of the Father is so great that only Those Who have disappeared in It can embrace It! Only the One, Who has transformed Oneself-Soul into a Radiant Spiritual Light and has mastered living in this way, can approach this.
‘Each of you is called by Me — to learn this and to bring the Knowledge about God to many people on the Earth!’”
… I listened to Philip, holding my breath. What great love Phillip has for Jesus, conveying the words of the Master! Oh, how I also wanted to experience what, as I felt, had already become largely known by Philip, Andrew, Mary, and, probably, for many of His other disciples!
… At this time, Jesus, along with the disciples and Lazarus, came to the people who had gathered in the courtyard of our house. Philip and I rushed to join in, too, to heed the words of the Master.
Philip told me a lot about Jesus, about their lives, about his understanding of how to overcome the difficulties that the closest disciples of Jesus also have.
With Andrew, with whom I was a bit in love, I was embarrassed.
My sister Mary was so absorbed in her love for Jesus that everything in the world for her became unimportant, and we rarely talked with her now.
The rest of Jesus’ disciples were as if a little removed from contact with worldly people. They did not answer my questions very willingly, because they treated me as an outsider, in whose house they are just guests…
But Philip — he became my friend from the time when he first set out to help me in the kitchen.
For example, I once asked:
“Tell me, Philip, had you ever before seen something like the miracle of the resurrection of the dead? Is it true that Jesus has authority over the life and death of any person?”
“You are talking about power… But this is something else… Jesus is not looking for power or glory… Yes, He has raised the dead before. But usually it was the return of the souls of children or teenagers to their bodies, if the bodies were not yet buried. Their fathers and mothers mourned — and then Jesus brought the souls back to life in their bodies. And something changed at the same time in the souls and destinies of all those around.
“Usually Jesus would ask us all to be silent about this: because His Teachings are not about such miracles at all.
“Jesus sometimes regrets our excessive trust in Him. Because each person must gain personal experience in spiritual cognition!
“Even if our bodies are always next to Jesus, it is precisely each one of us who must do the work for the ethical transformation of ourselves-souls. And it is a great work that the soul must perform in the worlds of Light, learning to perceive this Light and grow in It!
“Jesus carries around His body a space of Divine Love, Peace, Power, and Light. But even in order to just feel these Divine States, our previous efforts are needed. In particular, it requires a deep cleansing of the soul from all gross thoughts and emotions.
“Sometimes it seems to me that I have already learned to feel that Divine Space, which is always present around the Teacher… But — if I allow myself to have bad thoughts or emotions — then I find myself outside of that Space… And then again and again, I try to fill myself with love so that I can open the entrance to that Divine Light.
“Indeed, it is one thing to know that I should not be offended, angry, or jealous… But it is quite another — to learn how to live that way: so that such thoughts and emotions do not begin to arise and grow. Especially — when a sudden external cause suddenly appears…
“We, His closest disciples, came to Him, being all different.
“For example, even the appearance of your sister, Mary, among us has hurt many.
“For some, this was an opportunity to find envy in oneself — because Jesus began to give her much of His attention. But envy and jealousy due to not receiving the attention of the Teacher — is a very strong vice!
“For others, her appearance was a reason to see in oneself one’s own arrogance in relation to women.
“There were also other external causes that caused the appearance of our vicious thoughts and emotions. For example, Andrew, who had previously been taught for a long time by John-the-Baptist, was the most prepared among us to learn. And some of us, too, were sometimes jealous because of his success.
“Those who are concerned about their own successes or sufferings, also are jealous — they do not often listen to Jesus as they should, and usually do not hear everything or understand everything in His words. But this self, consisting of excessive focus of attention only to oneself: to one’s body, one’s own importance in the eyes of others, etc., must be destroyed — so that the Divine Self of the soul can shine!
“Yes, we often said to Jesus — in reverence to His Wisdom and Abilities: ‘You are the Great Teacher, the Savior of the world!’. And He, in response, reminded us that it is each of us who must teach ourselves the work of self-development! It must be carried out by each spiritual devotee through daily efforts to improve oneself!
“Once, He told us:
‘Most people around us crave miracles… But this is a false desire! Miracles do not help in any way! Perhaps they only strengthen the faith a little… But such faith is weak! The strong faith is that faith, which, not seeing miracles, knows about the Omnipotence of the Father!
‘Yes, I can embrace the whole Earth with Myself… Yes, my Love for people is great! But this does not mean that I should resurrect all the dead, heal all the sick, and give everyone a clear perception of the Divine!
‘Everyone should learn oneself! I can only help a little, so that people do not wander in search of how to approach spiritual purity, how to gain real achievements on the spiritual Path! And I am not called to save people from all their sufferings! Sufferings are painful lessons for the souls, and they are necessary!
‘I am here to show the Way!
‘Even though I am Consubstantial with the Father Spirit, I am only a tiny spark in the Universal Divine Flame! I am only a small drop in the Endless Ocean of the Perfect Universal United Consciousness: in the Ocean, Which fills the universe with Life! And — at the same time — even such a ‘small drop’ is capable of having all the Power of the Ocean when it expresses His Holy Will!
‘There, in the world that is called the Kingdom of the Father, is another state of being: the Life of the Divine Peace, Bliss, Love, and Power! This state of the Creator is usually not brought here: into the material world. And it’s possible only to open the gates, to show the way to the souls that have rushed towards Him!
‘The endless and omnipotent Kingdom of the Father is so great that only Those Who have disappeared in It can embrace It! Only the One, Who has transformed Oneself-Soul into a Radiant Spiritual Light and has mastered living in this way, can approach this.
‘Each of you is called by Me — to learn this and to bring the Knowledge about God to many people on the Earth!’”
… I listened to Philip, holding my breath. What great love Phillip has for Jesus, conveying the words of the Master! Oh, how I also wanted to experience what, as I felt, had already become largely known by Philip, Andrew, Mary, and, probably, for many of His other disciples!
… At this time, Jesus, along with the disciples and Lazarus, came to the people who had gathered in the courtyard of our house. Philip and I rushed to join in, too, to heed the words of the Master.
* * *
Jesus began:
“I promised many of those who are present here — to tell more about the deeds that a person can begin to do, who learned that the soul lives in a body on the Earth only for a short time, and the purpose of this life in the body is in self-improvement and approaching the Creator.
“Nothing in the spiritual world happens by itself. Life in the Kingdom of the Father is gained only by great spiritual efforts. These efforts are the daily labor of the soul, and not merely the acceptance of certain knowledge of life in this material world and other worlds.
“You can live in this earthly world, being crushed by a load of problems, by the fuss of an endless string of worldly affairs! Having resolved one earthly problem, a person almost immediately gets captured by another problem. By floundering in the swamp of such worries, diminishing the vital forces of the soul, years and even decades of life are lived almost aimlessly!
“Only before the death of the body, does a person sometimes realize how much time was spent vainly in earthly life, how little love and joy were in it, and how God still remains unattainably far away…
“The death of the body itself does not bring one closer to God! But only a truly accomplished spiritual life, here on the Earth, consisting of unceasing efforts, can bring one closer to the Creator!
“Only after the soul learns namely to feel God, it IS IN the Divine World, and then it is included in this World, becoming Its Inseparable Part. Only then, will the true vision and understanding, the true freedom and happiness be gained!
“This does not mean that a person no longer cares about the earthly house and family, about food for the body, or about the body’s health. But let all this take a small place in the life that is destined for these matters. May God fill with Himself: with His Love and Joy — one’s entire life!
“After all, it is not that the affairs themselves can be denied, but, rather, the concern for them — and let one live with God in every moment!
“To become a Part of the Divine World, thus gaining the Kingdom of God, — this is the meaning of the life of the soul here on the Earth!
“And one should devote time and efforts for this!
“These efforts are not at all regular prayers to the Creator to bestow profit in trade or send luck in the fulfillment of our other desires! But such regular performance of rituals… seems like a ‘great spiritual accomplishment’ to many, and the most important sign of ‘righteousness’!…
“How many empty and wasted efforts people make! How much time they spend on it!
“For most people, the words about the necessity of making spiritual efforts on oneself evoke ideas of hard work, violence against oneself, forcing oneself, or severe restrictions and deprivations…
“But the work for God — with the right attitude of the soul — should be joyful and give one bliss! This is what I would like to teach you today!
“Many of you — thanks to the story about Lazarus’ death and the ‘postmortal’ being of the soul — have, for the first time in your lives, begun to think that the soul remains alive even without a body, and that this inevitably awaits everyone who now lives in a body. Moreover, the transition to the disembodied world can happen much earlier than the person oneself assumes. That is why it is so important right now to begin all possible work on oneself-soul and continue it daily!
“So, how can we start, when we have realized the need to transform ourselves-souls in order to approach the Creator? And what is needed — for a body not to hold the soul as a prisoner?
“Even during the life of the body, the soul can become free from the shackles of flesh and begin to cognize the Divine Worlds!
“What efforts — on our Path of approaching God — are necessary?
“We have already spoken much about repentance, but this is only the first necessary step, the first conscious cleansing of the soul.
“The next effort is to begin to pacify the mind.
“Understand that conversations about trifles are very pleasant for the idle mind! And how often thoughts are ‘asking out’ to justify ourselves or to demonstrate the power of one’s own mind and one’s own superiority over others!
“In talking about something irrelevant, in telling each other that someone had said something to someone, or how someone had done something like that, — people lose so much precious time!
“How to calm such a mind?
“To begin with, a person can direct the attention of the soul to God.
“Yes, we can learn to choose what is right to think about. For example, we will allow thoughts about God, about good, joy, and beauty. But we will not allow thoughts with condemnation, anger, aspiration to command, resentment, envy, longing, and despondency.
“The mind is usually directed towards the future or goes through the events of the past. The mind does not like silence! But it should be taught calm! How? By filling the soul with heartfelt love and immersing the mind in the caressing peace of the spiritual heart!
“Peace is not usually intrinsic to the mind. But it can be subordinated to the wisdom of the spiritual heart, which always feels reality and the present — and discards the superfluous and unnecessary.
“In this way, the mind, immersed in the spiritual heart, finds silence. It becomes able to observe and make decisions, but at the same time to remain quiet and calm.
“It is necessary to master it!
“To gain this silence, devotees often went to the mountains or to the deserts… But everything is much easier!
“The Basis and Essence of the entire universe is the Creator. He is omnipresent!
“He becomes clear in the silence! This silence is present in the subtleties of that which is invisible under all that we are able to see with the eyes of the bodies and hear with bodily hearing.
“Let’s try to inhale, as if the air is His Love, Which gives life to our bodies!
“Feel how the spiritual heart expands being filled with the Divine Light!
“After all, it is our choice: to live in this transparent silence — or in the chaos of disturbing and fussy thoughts.
“For this, you only need to learn to dive into the abode of the heart — the abode of silence! In this silence, God’s Light is revealed to us! And God’s Voice in it can be heard by us!
“Now — by My Strength — I will help you to cognize that this space of delicate transparent silence really exists. Having experienced this immersion once, it will be easier for you to enter such silence again and again. When the mind is at rest, and the heart is filled with love for the Creator, then it is easy!
“John-the-Baptist immersed initiates into water. Let us feel now that we, too, are now immersed in a special space of the transparent silence. Let it now be like motionless cool air or the purest transparency of water. It exists everywhere and always in the world, not visible through the eyes of bodies. But it can become apparent to souls who are ready to cognize it with their spiritual hearts.
“We can immerse ourselves in this silence just as the bodies are usually immersed for ablution in the caressing water of a clean reservoir. It is like a calm sea. We enter — and dissolve…”
… A special silence descended… It was as if we were covered by a huge wave of the transparent shining Light…
Jesus spoke — and His voice smoothly reached my hearing, as if from within me:
“Listen to this silent peace!
“The endless silence was dissolving everything, the bliss was filling us…
“In this silence, it is easy to begin to feel the Presence of God…
“Now it seems that the space, where the Creator always dwells, is open…
“It is enough to fill this silence of the soul with a deep emotion of love for God — and the union of the human soul with the Infinity of the Divine Love takes place.”
… I remembered how, in my youth, on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, I was admiring the spaciousness and clarity of the water, and then I was slowly plunging into it with my head…
Like this, the silence gripped and swallowed me.
Even if the wind blows, and if there will be ripples or waves — then I will remain silent! For now, there is only silence in me!
And there is no longer an insignificant and weak former individuality! I am a Part of the Unity and of His Love!
… In this way, I first disappeared in the silence, where there is only God! I wanted to remain in this state always, but Jesus completed the lesson.
Then He continued to say:
“It’s possible for a person: to learn to live, constantly feeling the Presence of God, His Care, Help, and hearing His Advices!
“Each of you can start learning this!
“One can master a life in the constant perception of the Divine Presence. This Presence fills the soul from within.
“It is only the spiritual heart that has the ability to unite and merge with God! Such a connection favors man in both the material life and in spiritual perfecting.
“Thus, the life of a person in God and the life of God in such a person — can begin: in his or her spiritual heart filled with love! This is exactly what makes life worth living on the Earth!
“Thus, the Beauty and Bliss of the spiritual world are revealed, where the Light of the Spirit shines and fills us!
“Even in a dungeon, even with all sorts of external difficulties — you can keep this Oneness with the Divine World!
“The power of Divine Love, connecting with the Soul, Which no longer feels Itself separated from God for even a moment, transforms Its whole life!
“Yesterday you marveled at the miracle of the resurrection of a body, but there is another incomparably more significant resurrection: the resurrection to life in Purity, in Truth, and in Divine Love! Such a resurrection marks the unity with the Father and the Freedom from all that was necessary to study in the material world.”
… Jesus was silent…
His look was special… He saw what was still hidden from us…
“I promised many of those who are present here — to tell more about the deeds that a person can begin to do, who learned that the soul lives in a body on the Earth only for a short time, and the purpose of this life in the body is in self-improvement and approaching the Creator.
“Nothing in the spiritual world happens by itself. Life in the Kingdom of the Father is gained only by great spiritual efforts. These efforts are the daily labor of the soul, and not merely the acceptance of certain knowledge of life in this material world and other worlds.
“You can live in this earthly world, being crushed by a load of problems, by the fuss of an endless string of worldly affairs! Having resolved one earthly problem, a person almost immediately gets captured by another problem. By floundering in the swamp of such worries, diminishing the vital forces of the soul, years and even decades of life are lived almost aimlessly!
“Only before the death of the body, does a person sometimes realize how much time was spent vainly in earthly life, how little love and joy were in it, and how God still remains unattainably far away…
“The death of the body itself does not bring one closer to God! But only a truly accomplished spiritual life, here on the Earth, consisting of unceasing efforts, can bring one closer to the Creator!
“Only after the soul learns namely to feel God, it IS IN the Divine World, and then it is included in this World, becoming Its Inseparable Part. Only then, will the true vision and understanding, the true freedom and happiness be gained!
“This does not mean that a person no longer cares about the earthly house and family, about food for the body, or about the body’s health. But let all this take a small place in the life that is destined for these matters. May God fill with Himself: with His Love and Joy — one’s entire life!
“After all, it is not that the affairs themselves can be denied, but, rather, the concern for them — and let one live with God in every moment!
“To become a Part of the Divine World, thus gaining the Kingdom of God, — this is the meaning of the life of the soul here on the Earth!
“And one should devote time and efforts for this!
“These efforts are not at all regular prayers to the Creator to bestow profit in trade or send luck in the fulfillment of our other desires! But such regular performance of rituals… seems like a ‘great spiritual accomplishment’ to many, and the most important sign of ‘righteousness’!…
“How many empty and wasted efforts people make! How much time they spend on it!
“For most people, the words about the necessity of making spiritual efforts on oneself evoke ideas of hard work, violence against oneself, forcing oneself, or severe restrictions and deprivations…
“But the work for God — with the right attitude of the soul — should be joyful and give one bliss! This is what I would like to teach you today!
“Many of you — thanks to the story about Lazarus’ death and the ‘postmortal’ being of the soul — have, for the first time in your lives, begun to think that the soul remains alive even without a body, and that this inevitably awaits everyone who now lives in a body. Moreover, the transition to the disembodied world can happen much earlier than the person oneself assumes. That is why it is so important right now to begin all possible work on oneself-soul and continue it daily!
“So, how can we start, when we have realized the need to transform ourselves-souls in order to approach the Creator? And what is needed — for a body not to hold the soul as a prisoner?
“Even during the life of the body, the soul can become free from the shackles of flesh and begin to cognize the Divine Worlds!
“What efforts — on our Path of approaching God — are necessary?
“We have already spoken much about repentance, but this is only the first necessary step, the first conscious cleansing of the soul.
“The next effort is to begin to pacify the mind.
“Understand that conversations about trifles are very pleasant for the idle mind! And how often thoughts are ‘asking out’ to justify ourselves or to demonstrate the power of one’s own mind and one’s own superiority over others!
“In talking about something irrelevant, in telling each other that someone had said something to someone, or how someone had done something like that, — people lose so much precious time!
“How to calm such a mind?
“To begin with, a person can direct the attention of the soul to God.
“Yes, we can learn to choose what is right to think about. For example, we will allow thoughts about God, about good, joy, and beauty. But we will not allow thoughts with condemnation, anger, aspiration to command, resentment, envy, longing, and despondency.
“The mind is usually directed towards the future or goes through the events of the past. The mind does not like silence! But it should be taught calm! How? By filling the soul with heartfelt love and immersing the mind in the caressing peace of the spiritual heart!
“Peace is not usually intrinsic to the mind. But it can be subordinated to the wisdom of the spiritual heart, which always feels reality and the present — and discards the superfluous and unnecessary.
“In this way, the mind, immersed in the spiritual heart, finds silence. It becomes able to observe and make decisions, but at the same time to remain quiet and calm.
“It is necessary to master it!
“To gain this silence, devotees often went to the mountains or to the deserts… But everything is much easier!
“The Basis and Essence of the entire universe is the Creator. He is omnipresent!
“He becomes clear in the silence! This silence is present in the subtleties of that which is invisible under all that we are able to see with the eyes of the bodies and hear with bodily hearing.
“Let’s try to inhale, as if the air is His Love, Which gives life to our bodies!
“Feel how the spiritual heart expands being filled with the Divine Light!
“After all, it is our choice: to live in this transparent silence — or in the chaos of disturbing and fussy thoughts.
“For this, you only need to learn to dive into the abode of the heart — the abode of silence! In this silence, God’s Light is revealed to us! And God’s Voice in it can be heard by us!
“Now — by My Strength — I will help you to cognize that this space of delicate transparent silence really exists. Having experienced this immersion once, it will be easier for you to enter such silence again and again. When the mind is at rest, and the heart is filled with love for the Creator, then it is easy!
“John-the-Baptist immersed initiates into water. Let us feel now that we, too, are now immersed in a special space of the transparent silence. Let it now be like motionless cool air or the purest transparency of water. It exists everywhere and always in the world, not visible through the eyes of bodies. But it can become apparent to souls who are ready to cognize it with their spiritual hearts.
“We can immerse ourselves in this silence just as the bodies are usually immersed for ablution in the caressing water of a clean reservoir. It is like a calm sea. We enter — and dissolve…”
… A special silence descended… It was as if we were covered by a huge wave of the transparent shining Light…
Jesus spoke — and His voice smoothly reached my hearing, as if from within me:
“Listen to this silent peace!
“The endless silence was dissolving everything, the bliss was filling us…
“In this silence, it is easy to begin to feel the Presence of God…
“Now it seems that the space, where the Creator always dwells, is open…
“It is enough to fill this silence of the soul with a deep emotion of love for God — and the union of the human soul with the Infinity of the Divine Love takes place.”
… I remembered how, in my youth, on the shore of the Sea of Galilee, I was admiring the spaciousness and clarity of the water, and then I was slowly plunging into it with my head…
Like this, the silence gripped and swallowed me.
Even if the wind blows, and if there will be ripples or waves — then I will remain silent! For now, there is only silence in me!
And there is no longer an insignificant and weak former individuality! I am a Part of the Unity and of His Love!
… In this way, I first disappeared in the silence, where there is only God! I wanted to remain in this state always, but Jesus completed the lesson.
Then He continued to say:
“It’s possible for a person: to learn to live, constantly feeling the Presence of God, His Care, Help, and hearing His Advices!
“Each of you can start learning this!
“One can master a life in the constant perception of the Divine Presence. This Presence fills the soul from within.
“It is only the spiritual heart that has the ability to unite and merge with God! Such a connection favors man in both the material life and in spiritual perfecting.
“Thus, the life of a person in God and the life of God in such a person — can begin: in his or her spiritual heart filled with love! This is exactly what makes life worth living on the Earth!
“Thus, the Beauty and Bliss of the spiritual world are revealed, where the Light of the Spirit shines and fills us!
“Even in a dungeon, even with all sorts of external difficulties — you can keep this Oneness with the Divine World!
“The power of Divine Love, connecting with the Soul, Which no longer feels Itself separated from God for even a moment, transforms Its whole life!
“Yesterday you marveled at the miracle of the resurrection of a body, but there is another incomparably more significant resurrection: the resurrection to life in Purity, in Truth, and in Divine Love! Such a resurrection marks the unity with the Father and the Freedom from all that was necessary to study in the material world.”
… Jesus was silent…
His look was special… He saw what was still hidden from us…
Chapter 6.
Traveling with Jesus for the First Time
Traveling with Jesus for the First Time
Jesus and His disciples were again preparing for their travels. I made them provisions for the journey.
Then I came up to Jesus and, looking down, said:
“Here, I prepared food for all of you. I don’t know: is it enough? Or is more needed? I’m sorry if I misjudged your wishes…”
“It’s fine! You’ve done a great job, Martha! But to please Me — there’s no need! You know that I have no mundane worldly desires!
“But why are you still afraid of Me, Martha? You want to ask Me something! Don’t you?”
“Yes, Jesus! I want to! You see everything that I think about and everything that I want… I’m still a little afraid of You, but… just a little… And — only sometimes…”
“But as soon as you begin to fear Me, you cease to love!
“Fear does not live in love!
“Love doesn’t get along with fear!
“Love casts out fear!
“But fear… is able to extinguish love!
“Well, speak boldly and openly: what do you want to ask?”
“Let me go now with You and with all of you!”
“It’s good that you want this, Martha! But it would be better if this were to happen later: your time has not yet come. It will come soon, but right now you will not be able to withstand all our journeys. I will invite you and Lazarus with Me a little later: when the Scripture has been fulfilled and everything that has been prophesied has come true…”
“But, I need You nearby all the time! All my spiritual work stops when You leave our house and I’m left alone!”
“That’s what I’m telling you about!
“To be near Me on this Path, only God must remain in a person’s life! He — the Most Beloved, the Dearest — must always be near. But not My body!”
“I can endure it! All the difficulties! Let me go with You and be near You! After all, Mary was able! And I’ll also be able!”
“You do not understand Me, dear Martha!
“But if this is what you want, then you may try to live a little of the life which we live! Let it be good for you and for all of us! And let this help to strengthen your aspiration to the Heavenly Father!
“I allow you to follow Me now!
“Everything will be fine and happen how you want, Martha, and how God wants to the best of you-the-soul! Everything will be good for everyone!”
“Thank You, Master!”
… I had already prepared for the journey.
Lazarus was very surprised, but he did not hinder my aspiration.
Then I came up to Jesus and, looking down, said:
“Here, I prepared food for all of you. I don’t know: is it enough? Or is more needed? I’m sorry if I misjudged your wishes…”
“It’s fine! You’ve done a great job, Martha! But to please Me — there’s no need! You know that I have no mundane worldly desires!
“But why are you still afraid of Me, Martha? You want to ask Me something! Don’t you?”
“Yes, Jesus! I want to! You see everything that I think about and everything that I want… I’m still a little afraid of You, but… just a little… And — only sometimes…”
“But as soon as you begin to fear Me, you cease to love!
“Fear does not live in love!
“Love doesn’t get along with fear!
“Love casts out fear!
“But fear… is able to extinguish love!
“Well, speak boldly and openly: what do you want to ask?”
“Let me go now with You and with all of you!”
“It’s good that you want this, Martha! But it would be better if this were to happen later: your time has not yet come. It will come soon, but right now you will not be able to withstand all our journeys. I will invite you and Lazarus with Me a little later: when the Scripture has been fulfilled and everything that has been prophesied has come true…”
“But, I need You nearby all the time! All my spiritual work stops when You leave our house and I’m left alone!”
“That’s what I’m telling you about!
“To be near Me on this Path, only God must remain in a person’s life! He — the Most Beloved, the Dearest — must always be near. But not My body!”
“I can endure it! All the difficulties! Let me go with You and be near You! After all, Mary was able! And I’ll also be able!”
“You do not understand Me, dear Martha!
“But if this is what you want, then you may try to live a little of the life which we live! Let it be good for you and for all of us! And let this help to strengthen your aspiration to the Heavenly Father!
“I allow you to follow Me now!
“Everything will be fine and happen how you want, Martha, and how God wants to the best of you-the-soul! Everything will be good for everyone!”
“Thank You, Master!”
… I had already prepared for the journey.
Lazarus was very surprised, but he did not hinder my aspiration.
* * *
And so, my journey began with Jesus and His disciples.
An unprecedented and unspeakable joy now overfilled me!
For the first time, my life became the life of a soul that turned into a shining — like a little sun — spiritual heart!
Before, it had happened to me only for a short time. But now — I cognized the fullness and bliss of life that comes from living in a state of almost constant heart love!
I opened the eyes of the soul! And like a flower of love, I blossomed in my spiritual heart!
For the first time, I looked at everything around me, admiring the beauty — the beauty that I had previously considered as… insignificant and ordinary!
I — in delight — saw the morning dew on the grass, the flowers, the trees, the sand, and the roadside olives!
As if for the first time, I heard the songs of birds and watched their effortless flight!
I saw the sky also as if for the first time! And I could not get enough of the light clouds or of the high and cloudless blue dome over us!
It became dear for me to listen to the murmur of an ordinary stream and to feel the caress of the water, moving between my toes!
In the past, I used to go to fetch water… And I saw both trees, and grass, and flowers… But back then, I… as if did not even notice them!
And now, it was as if the “the veil of everyday life” had dropped off my eyes — and suddenly everything started shining with unspeakable beauty!
Everything was permeated with a sense of the Presence of God — the Creator and Father!
And Jesus was here beside me!
His feet touched the same sand as mine! His looks — by touches — were fondling everything that I saw: all these trees, bushes, flowers, and even the dusty path under our feet!
And on stops, His hands accepted the bowl with water or food from my hands!
His presence made everything… Holy!
I was so happy!
An unprecedented and unspeakable joy now overfilled me!
For the first time, my life became the life of a soul that turned into a shining — like a little sun — spiritual heart!
Before, it had happened to me only for a short time. But now — I cognized the fullness and bliss of life that comes from living in a state of almost constant heart love!
I opened the eyes of the soul! And like a flower of love, I blossomed in my spiritual heart!
For the first time, I looked at everything around me, admiring the beauty — the beauty that I had previously considered as… insignificant and ordinary!
I — in delight — saw the morning dew on the grass, the flowers, the trees, the sand, and the roadside olives!
As if for the first time, I heard the songs of birds and watched their effortless flight!
I saw the sky also as if for the first time! And I could not get enough of the light clouds or of the high and cloudless blue dome over us!
It became dear for me to listen to the murmur of an ordinary stream and to feel the caress of the water, moving between my toes!
In the past, I used to go to fetch water… And I saw both trees, and grass, and flowers… But back then, I… as if did not even notice them!
And now, it was as if the “the veil of everyday life” had dropped off my eyes — and suddenly everything started shining with unspeakable beauty!
Everything was permeated with a sense of the Presence of God — the Creator and Father!
And Jesus was here beside me!
His feet touched the same sand as mine! His looks — by touches — were fondling everything that I saw: all these trees, bushes, flowers, and even the dusty path under our feet!
And on stops, His hands accepted the bowl with water or food from my hands!
His presence made everything… Holy!
I was so happy!
* * *
However, I got tired quickly and even sometimes started to lag behind… I noticed that Jesus was making stops on purpose, showing or explaining something, so that I could catch up. I was ashamed: I didn’t want to be a burden! And I tried as best as I could, although in the early days the fatigue of the body was very great.
… And how wonderful were the evenings by the fire and the conversations of Jesus!
He was already preparing His disciples for their Apostolic Service:
“You, My friends, will inherit the Deed, which was begun by Me on the Earth! Remember that I — in this body — will not always be with you!
“Though, still, I’ll be everywhere with every follower of Mine — by the Light and Divine Love, Which I teach you both to see, and hear, and embrace by souls!
“God is always with you and in you! And the Power of the Holy Spirit, flowing through your bodies, will allow you to learn to show this Power to people!
“But I emphasize that I am talking now about the Will of God, and not about the intensity of your personal desires!
“There are heirs who inherit the earthly and therefore must be able to manage the estates that were inherited.
“But you are chosen by Me to inherit not the earthly but the Heavenly!
“To carry to people the knowledge that you have received — will be the task of your lives until the last day of your stay in these bodies.
“Not every person who has received an earthly inheritance is able to wisely manage money and houses, or to contribute to the development of those lands that he or she has at his or her disposal.
“But your task is much more difficult and requires much more responsibility! Your every action in your Service must be guided by the Heavenly Father!”
“Will You give us the power to heal and to see the past and the future? Will You teach us how to make loaves and clothes out of nothing? Will You teach us how to fly and walk on the water?”
“Birds in the sky can fly, and fish swim in the waters… Flowers are dressed in beautiful outfits… Should I teach you the skills of birds, fish, and flowers?
“You will inherit something else — the Heavenly Kingdom! Is this not enough for you?
“Remember, friends:
‘The one who can control oneself, that is, one’s own thoughts and emotions, — has acquired a great advantage.
‘For example, one, who knows how to keep silent, listen carefully, and speak only about important things and at the right moment, — has mastered a very important skill.
‘The one, who has found the Heavenly Kingdom within oneself and has not lost this priceless Treasure because of external hardships and trials, is worthy of broadcasting about it to people!’
… And Jesus further taught how to become open to the reception of the Divine Light of the Holy Spirit and to direct this Light-Power through one’s bodily hands — for healing.
I still didn’t understand much of what Jesus said. But I learned to feel the Divine Light-Power.
… After this conversation, Jesus said to Andrew:
“Tomorrow tell Martha about those seven ‘lamps’* that can be lit in the human body — so that the Divine Spirit can easily fill such a body and subsequently act through it.”
… The next morning, Andrew told me about the seven centers in the human body that must be cleansed and transformed:
“Right now, your first ‘lamp’ is already lit. It is your spiritual heart. And now you can — from it — light the other six ‘lamps’, so that all seven centers that guide the soul’s forces in the body can become pure and easily conduct the Divine Light.”
… Oh, how quickly I got tired!…
Seeing this, Jesus halted much earlier than usual.
That day, He told us a little about His travels to other countries and about the beliefs of the people living there. I was interested in all this: the strange customs, the strange rites, and the unfamiliar names of Divine Teachers…
Jesus spoke, in particular, about how quickly the teachings of the sages and prophets are lost or distorted by people:
“A lot of legends had their origins in true Knowledge. And this concerns not just the stories about the history of the Jewish people.
“Sometimes in these stories, there is not much truth, but many fantasies or deliberate lies are layered. Sometimes it even happens that priests try to ‘deify’ evil and establish cults of worship to the forces of evil. So they — by means of the imposed fear — make people obey them. I’ve seen it in many of the lands that I’ve been to.
“I would like to return to people — to the most ordinary people — the eternal Knowledge about God, about the Laws of the universe, and about the great and transforming Power of Divine Love.
“For example, look at Martha: how she blossomed in these few days! I preach precisely for such people! And there are many of such people! For them —the pure and clear path of life is opened, leading to the personal cognition of the Creator!
“The one, who has acquired the simplicity of life with God, experiences the great happiness! This happiness can never run out — so long as the spiritual heart of such a person is always in the Heavenly Kingdom! In God then — is the joy of such a person! And this joy of contact with the Heavenly Kingdom is incomparable!
“Even for souls which are still small and modestly beginning their search — it is possible to achieve this happiness!
“When God dwells in your spiritual heart, the soul rejoices, sings, shines, and is ready to share this happiness with all around!
“The kind and gentle perception of everything around — then becomes natural!
“Even small souls, in contact with the Purity and Bliss of the Divine, find this Bliss!
“Feeling like children and, at the same time, disciples of God, many people can begin to live happily and study the Heavenly Kingdom, Which is revealed to pure and loving souls!
“But it is important that the aspiration to the Creator must be strong!
“If the joy of living together with God disappears, it means that such a one has lost something important in oneself. And that he or she needs to check with attention: what has become wrong in me.
“Only pure souls can become involved in the life of God.
“You will be able to tell people about God-the-Father, in particular, that He does not discriminate between His children by skin color and place of birth. God is one for all people, no matter what names people use to call Him!
“You will be able to teach about love and brotherhood between people, also about how to wisely help each other, and about the tasks assigned to each soul!
“Only a small amount of earthly goods is necessary for a joyful and peaceful life!
“How ridiculous it looks: to waste on the gathering of earthly wealth — the time that is given to everyone for such a happy life and for the work of improving oneself!
“The introduction of knowledge about the Principles of the Wise Divine Love can help very many — namely, those who will accept this Knowledge and will want to apply it to themselves! You will preach for such people! It is for this purpose — that you are learning now!”
… And how wonderful were the evenings by the fire and the conversations of Jesus!
He was already preparing His disciples for their Apostolic Service:
“You, My friends, will inherit the Deed, which was begun by Me on the Earth! Remember that I — in this body — will not always be with you!
“Though, still, I’ll be everywhere with every follower of Mine — by the Light and Divine Love, Which I teach you both to see, and hear, and embrace by souls!
“God is always with you and in you! And the Power of the Holy Spirit, flowing through your bodies, will allow you to learn to show this Power to people!
“But I emphasize that I am talking now about the Will of God, and not about the intensity of your personal desires!
“There are heirs who inherit the earthly and therefore must be able to manage the estates that were inherited.
“But you are chosen by Me to inherit not the earthly but the Heavenly!
“To carry to people the knowledge that you have received — will be the task of your lives until the last day of your stay in these bodies.
“Not every person who has received an earthly inheritance is able to wisely manage money and houses, or to contribute to the development of those lands that he or she has at his or her disposal.
“But your task is much more difficult and requires much more responsibility! Your every action in your Service must be guided by the Heavenly Father!”
“Will You give us the power to heal and to see the past and the future? Will You teach us how to make loaves and clothes out of nothing? Will You teach us how to fly and walk on the water?”
“Birds in the sky can fly, and fish swim in the waters… Flowers are dressed in beautiful outfits… Should I teach you the skills of birds, fish, and flowers?
“You will inherit something else — the Heavenly Kingdom! Is this not enough for you?
“Remember, friends:
‘The one who can control oneself, that is, one’s own thoughts and emotions, — has acquired a great advantage.
‘For example, one, who knows how to keep silent, listen carefully, and speak only about important things and at the right moment, — has mastered a very important skill.
‘The one, who has found the Heavenly Kingdom within oneself and has not lost this priceless Treasure because of external hardships and trials, is worthy of broadcasting about it to people!’
… And Jesus further taught how to become open to the reception of the Divine Light of the Holy Spirit and to direct this Light-Power through one’s bodily hands — for healing.
I still didn’t understand much of what Jesus said. But I learned to feel the Divine Light-Power.
… After this conversation, Jesus said to Andrew:
“Tomorrow tell Martha about those seven ‘lamps’* that can be lit in the human body — so that the Divine Spirit can easily fill such a body and subsequently act through it.”
… The next morning, Andrew told me about the seven centers in the human body that must be cleansed and transformed:
“Right now, your first ‘lamp’ is already lit. It is your spiritual heart. And now you can — from it — light the other six ‘lamps’, so that all seven centers that guide the soul’s forces in the body can become pure and easily conduct the Divine Light.”
… Oh, how quickly I got tired!…
Seeing this, Jesus halted much earlier than usual.
That day, He told us a little about His travels to other countries and about the beliefs of the people living there. I was interested in all this: the strange customs, the strange rites, and the unfamiliar names of Divine Teachers…
Jesus spoke, in particular, about how quickly the teachings of the sages and prophets are lost or distorted by people:
“A lot of legends had their origins in true Knowledge. And this concerns not just the stories about the history of the Jewish people.
“Sometimes in these stories, there is not much truth, but many fantasies or deliberate lies are layered. Sometimes it even happens that priests try to ‘deify’ evil and establish cults of worship to the forces of evil. So they — by means of the imposed fear — make people obey them. I’ve seen it in many of the lands that I’ve been to.
“I would like to return to people — to the most ordinary people — the eternal Knowledge about God, about the Laws of the universe, and about the great and transforming Power of Divine Love.
“For example, look at Martha: how she blossomed in these few days! I preach precisely for such people! And there are many of such people! For them —the pure and clear path of life is opened, leading to the personal cognition of the Creator!
“The one, who has acquired the simplicity of life with God, experiences the great happiness! This happiness can never run out — so long as the spiritual heart of such a person is always in the Heavenly Kingdom! In God then — is the joy of such a person! And this joy of contact with the Heavenly Kingdom is incomparable!
“Even for souls which are still small and modestly beginning their search — it is possible to achieve this happiness!
“When God dwells in your spiritual heart, the soul rejoices, sings, shines, and is ready to share this happiness with all around!
“The kind and gentle perception of everything around — then becomes natural!
“Even small souls, in contact with the Purity and Bliss of the Divine, find this Bliss!
“Feeling like children and, at the same time, disciples of God, many people can begin to live happily and study the Heavenly Kingdom, Which is revealed to pure and loving souls!
“But it is important that the aspiration to the Creator must be strong!
“If the joy of living together with God disappears, it means that such a one has lost something important in oneself. And that he or she needs to check with attention: what has become wrong in me.
“Only pure souls can become involved in the life of God.
“You will be able to tell people about God-the-Father, in particular, that He does not discriminate between His children by skin color and place of birth. God is one for all people, no matter what names people use to call Him!
“You will be able to teach about love and brotherhood between people, also about how to wisely help each other, and about the tasks assigned to each soul!
“Only a small amount of earthly goods is necessary for a joyful and peaceful life!
“How ridiculous it looks: to waste on the gathering of earthly wealth — the time that is given to everyone for such a happy life and for the work of improving oneself!
“The introduction of knowledge about the Principles of the Wise Divine Love can help very many — namely, those who will accept this Knowledge and will want to apply it to themselves! You will preach for such people! It is for this purpose — that you are learning now!”
* * *
And then there was a night under the open sky around the campfire. Jesus and all His disciples slept together.
The sky covered us with a dome of stars.
Wrapped in a cloak, I lay there and could not stop looking! I could not sleep: such was the beauty around us! I felt like a small grain — in His incredible Enormity… And the understanding came to me that behind everything that can be seen, there is the One Who has created it all. And that all the Creation is intended for the development of just such small particles. And that the existence of each one of them is significant for Him. And that every grain-soul is negligible but, at the same time, so important for the Whole!
I realized that I’m not the only one who’s connected to the Everything. All of us — as souls — are connected to each other and to our Creator!
The sky covered us with a dome of stars.
Wrapped in a cloak, I lay there and could not stop looking! I could not sleep: such was the beauty around us! I felt like a small grain — in His incredible Enormity… And the understanding came to me that behind everything that can be seen, there is the One Who has created it all. And that all the Creation is intended for the development of just such small particles. And that the existence of each one of them is significant for Him. And that every grain-soul is negligible but, at the same time, so important for the Whole!
I realized that I’m not the only one who’s connected to the Everything. All of us — as souls — are connected to each other and to our Creator!
* Chakras.
Chapter 7.
One Must Cultivate Love
and Purity in Oneself!
Now sometimes Jesus’ disciples also tried their hand at preaching and healing. Several times Jesus allowed them, two or three at a time, to go to the villages and learn to preach without Him.
Sometimes they came back, beaten with stones and upset by their failures. But sometimes, it also happened that their sermons were successful.
I had not yet been allowed to go with them, even though I really wanted to tell all the people what I now knew.
... And then one day, we went with Andrew to buy food in the nearest village.
At the market, a little distance away from Andrew, when I was choosing which oil to buy, I heard how one man said to another, pointing to Andrew: “He looks like someone who walks with Jesus from Nazareth, says disturbing words, and pretends to heal!”. People around then began to discuss the rumors about Jesus and the miracles that He accomplished.
They, in particular, talked about the resurrection of Lazarus: that it is not true and that it is all just fiction…
I did not consider it necessary to restrain myself and objected:
“I’m the sister of that Lazarus, and I can attest to the fact that the resurrection of him by Jesus is the truth. My brother had been dead for four days when Jesus brought him back to life in the body.”
... With all the passion and soul power that I could muster, I began to talk about Jesus... My voice was breaking, and tears were welling in my eyes.
I did not expect the reaction that followed... There was so much anger in those people! They accused me of lying! Many in arousal began to shout curses at me and Jesus! And then someone yelled calling upon everyone to throw stones at me.…
I was always such an obedient and decent girl, I had never before caused a disturbance among people. And suddenly — all this!…
But I was so sure of my rightness and of my knowledge of Jesus that I was not afraid, but only began to argue even more hotly!
Andrew ran up and quickly pulled me away from the angry mob. Curses and stones were flying at us.
As a result, we were unable to buy provisions…
We came back with nothing, and I felt guilty and miserable. I was crying because of the injustice.
Blood was flowing from Andrew’s temple: it had been grazed by one of the thrown stones.
But Andrew, not paying attention to it, calmly and tenderly told me that it is not always necessary to prove the truth to everyone, and that even Jesus Himself seeks to speak only to those people who want to listen to Him and are willing to believe His words. And that there is no sense in convincing a malevolent crowd about anything.
I barely listened to Andrew and did not even try to hold back my tears. I was so bitter and ashamed! After all, because of me, there were problems…
Jesus met us with His usual caress. He held His hand over Andrew’s face — and the bleeding stopped.
Then He came up to me and hugged me:
“This case is not worthy of such tears of yours! You will hear many more lies from people about the Heavenly Father and Me…
“Now, as long as I am with you, there is no reason to grieve for what is small, when you should rejoice about what is Great!”
“But everyone will be hungry because of me!…”
“Well, is that such a problem?!”
“Oh yes!…”
“Then let’s feed all of us ourselves! Bring water from the stream, Martha, — and we’ll have lunch!”
... I could not stop my distress from the whole experience. At the stream, I was a little late, trying to calm down. The water running down the rocks was cool and clear. I washed my face and hands with it for a long time before getting water into the jug.
When I returned, Jesus took my hands in His. And then together, we started breaking the last piece of bread we had left.…
Jesus was behind my body. A special warmth and Power emanated from Him. His Hands broke the bread with my hands. And warm slices of bread, as if freshly baked, filled a large wooden dish.
It is one thing to hear of such events... But it is another thing — with palms, which were in the Hands of Jesus, to touch the bread which was created by Him... My joy now was without bounds!
When the bread was enough for all, Jesus said:
“Well, you see how simple everything is in this world, if you do not lose contact with the Heavenly Father even for a moment!
“And it is not necessary to fall into despair from failure, when you know that you are on the right Path!
“You must still learn how to control your emotions, dear Martha! And you already know how to do it!”
... I was serving water from a jug. Everyone washed their hands and settled on the ground around the campfire and the improvised table.
At this time, a shepherd with a herd of sheep and goats passed by. He asked our permission to share with us the warmth of the fire and our food, and, in return, offered a lame sheep, which hurt its leg and was almost unable to move on its own.
But Jesus held out His hand — and the animal’s leg was healed. The lamb cheerfully ran to the rest of the herd.
The shepherd was filled with the surprise of a simple-minded person, to whom a Divine miracle is just a joy and a natural part of everyday life. He gave us cakes with cottage cheese and sat down with us for a modest meal.
The next day, when the shepherd and his flock left us and went on their way, the disciples asked Jesus:
«How do You do all this, Master? You didn’t teach us everything that You Yourself can do! How do You multiply food and instantly heal grievous wounds?
“We try to use the healing powers, and we are learning to direct the streams of Light... But it is so little compared to what You do with ease! How can we learn this?”
“I have already told you a little about how everything, which we see from the outside through the eyes of our bodies, is actually the Light in its essence!
“One, who has oneself learned to be the Light of the Holy Spirit and to look out from this Light, can see the Light nature of everything that is manifested in this world, — by one’s spiritual vision.
“Yes, both stones, and bread, and our bodies are merely organized in a special way and exist according to certain Divine laws related to the accumulation of fluid Light.
“The Sons and Daughters of God are given opportunities to influence — by the power of Souls which are also the Light — the Light that is the Basis of solid objects.
“In this way, we can create bread out of the Light. Or — cure diseases by restoring the natural order of the Light in the bodies or in their particular organs.
“This ability to influence everything in the universe is laid down by God in the nature of a spiritually growing person.
“But even before developing the Divine vision and the Divine understanding of the essence of all that is happening, almost any person still partially uses these abilities, but does this unconsciously.
“The energies, filled with the power of the emotions of love, produce creation and healing.
“And when a person’s energies pour out, obeying the emotions of fear or hatred, — destruction occurs.
“It often happens that someone’s negative emotions disturb the harmony inside and around our bodies. This harms both the harmful people themselves and other creatures. Therefore, it is a good thing that an ordinary person does not have much power to implement into reality all that this person thinks and all that he or she would like to do.
“The confused thoughts and fuzzy images of almost all people allow only a little part of what such a person dreams of to occur in the material world. One thought builds up, and then a following thought can destroy it…
“With their thoughts and emotions, which are far from purity, people often violate the natural order of the flow of Light in their bodies. And it can lead to diseases.
“Also, many people create a space around themselves with so rude energies that hatred can be easily and shamelessly manifested, and humility and kindness are unnatural…
“The average person, who is usually far from the knowledge of his or her nature, oscillates, like a pendulum, between good and evil, joys and sorrows, confidence and doubts, kindness and cruelty…
“But everything is connected with everything. We are all connected to each other and to God — the Father and Mother of all the existing!
“And even just thoughts — good or evil — return, as an echo, to their sources, bringing the appropriate consequences in the fates of the people who created them.
“Only in the Oneness with the Heavenly Father, can the Power be found to influence various material objects or human bodies for healing them. And, in this way also, the understanding comes: when healing is for good, and when it is for evil.”
“How can there be the healing for evil?”
“It can happen... Healing the body without healing the soul can do harm. Such healings change the fates of the healed persons, and hence the sequences of various fateful events, associated with this person, also change.
“Here is a simple and obvious example. We heal a brave and strong warrior from a mortal wound, but he then continues, obeying orders, participating in wars of conquest, killing other people, ruining homes, and orphaning children…
“Here, the consequences for him and for other similar people are obvious.
“But in any case, when the soul does not learn the proper lessons for itself after the healing of the body and does not embark on the path of correction and transformation, then the healing is not for the good!
“God never sends diseases to people or punishes them! But one’s own wrong actions and thoughts attract to one’s own life such events, which are designed to teach the souls, helping them to purify and become better.
“Therefore, our help must be wise. And the power, which is given by God to us, will increase as we understand each situation and the fate of each person.”
* * *
We continued our journeys…
Jesus preached a lot now. And often, He was met by cheering crowds. It seemed to me that soon the whole world would know about the coming of the Messiah — and the “Golden Age” of the Divine Justice would reign! He was listened to by both rich and poor, and also by people of different nationalities and even different faiths.
... One day, we saw a Roman soldier talking rudely to an old man and his wife near their poor hut. The soldier took away their last food supplies, because he was collecting provisions for his military unit. He clearly was not pleased at having to do this assignment, but he expressed his discontent with what was happening by an even more stringent conversation with the elderly people.
He had already taken all the cakes and cheeses, and now demanded wine. But the old man in despair was saying that they do not grow grapes and do not make wine!
Jesus went up to the soldier and said:
“Do you think, Avitus, that you will avoid old age and death, deprivation and diseases? Do you believe that your health and strength will always be with you? Do you think that, if you die young in the battle for the power of Rome, you will be happy in your posthumous existence?”
“How do you know my name? What kind of weird questions are you asking? Are you another Jewish prophet, followed by idle onlookers? And do you want to teach me — a legionary of Rome?! Aren’t you afraid to give up your life right now?!”
... The warrior seized the hilt of the sword, thus emphasizing his threat.
“I’m not afraid of you, Avitus, because I know not only your name, but much of what you yourself do not know!
“It is not you who gave Me life, and you are not the one who can take it away! When the time comes, I will accept the death of My body by My own free will. And then you will recall Me and know Whom you have met and with Whom you have spoken.
“And yet — try to learn not only the power and ability to obey orders, but the ability to think. Your decision today will change your fate.”
... The soldier froze for a while. Before his inner eyes, scenes from his possible future floated — but… not of the heroic future that he had previously imagined for himself…
“Do you want to be a feeble old man with a miserable existence for many years?” — Jesus continued.
“What kind of curse did you place on me? Who would want to be in this horror?”
“I showed you your possible future. Understand that right now, by your hands taking food from the elderly, you are writing these final pages of your life…”
“Damn tribe! All of you are wizards with wild beliefs!” — Avitus shouted.
... Then the soldier threw the bag with provisions at the feet of the old man. He made a “protective” sign with his fingers, which was considered to protect against magic and the “evil eye”. Then he whipped his horse and raced away, raising clouds of dust…
Jesus preached a lot now. And often, He was met by cheering crowds. It seemed to me that soon the whole world would know about the coming of the Messiah — and the “Golden Age” of the Divine Justice would reign! He was listened to by both rich and poor, and also by people of different nationalities and even different faiths.
... One day, we saw a Roman soldier talking rudely to an old man and his wife near their poor hut. The soldier took away their last food supplies, because he was collecting provisions for his military unit. He clearly was not pleased at having to do this assignment, but he expressed his discontent with what was happening by an even more stringent conversation with the elderly people.
He had already taken all the cakes and cheeses, and now demanded wine. But the old man in despair was saying that they do not grow grapes and do not make wine!
Jesus went up to the soldier and said:
“Do you think, Avitus, that you will avoid old age and death, deprivation and diseases? Do you believe that your health and strength will always be with you? Do you think that, if you die young in the battle for the power of Rome, you will be happy in your posthumous existence?”
“How do you know my name? What kind of weird questions are you asking? Are you another Jewish prophet, followed by idle onlookers? And do you want to teach me — a legionary of Rome?! Aren’t you afraid to give up your life right now?!”
... The warrior seized the hilt of the sword, thus emphasizing his threat.
“I’m not afraid of you, Avitus, because I know not only your name, but much of what you yourself do not know!
“It is not you who gave Me life, and you are not the one who can take it away! When the time comes, I will accept the death of My body by My own free will. And then you will recall Me and know Whom you have met and with Whom you have spoken.
“And yet — try to learn not only the power and ability to obey orders, but the ability to think. Your decision today will change your fate.”
... The soldier froze for a while. Before his inner eyes, scenes from his possible future floated — but… not of the heroic future that he had previously imagined for himself…
“Do you want to be a feeble old man with a miserable existence for many years?” — Jesus continued.
“What kind of curse did you place on me? Who would want to be in this horror?”
“I showed you your possible future. Understand that right now, by your hands taking food from the elderly, you are writing these final pages of your life…”
“Damn tribe! All of you are wizards with wild beliefs!” — Avitus shouted.
... Then the soldier threw the bag with provisions at the feet of the old man. He made a “protective” sign with his fingers, which was considered to protect against magic and the “evil eye”. Then he whipped his horse and raced away, raising clouds of dust…
* * *
As we moved on, reassuring the elders with the promise that this soldier would not return, Jesus calmly continued to speak:
“It does not always make sense to interfere with words and actions into the fate of people. But this man was already quite close to understanding the unrighteousness of his actions. And he is smart and strong enough to change his life for the better. I believe that he will make the right decisions on the day he realizes who I am and recalls this meeting... We gave him today a chance to be saved…
“A developed soul can control many processes and events in this world: both states within bodies, and events happening around. But people usually do not know this and, therefore, allow everything to happen as if by chance.
“But, if one understands that one’s advancement in the flow of life largely depends on oneself, and if this one will make efforts in the right direction, — then there will be less chaos in his or her life.”
... That meeting with the Roman soldier was the occasion for many of our conversations in our evenings around the campfire. But most of these conversations were reduced to a discussion of disasters carried out by the power of the Romans. Many disciples vented their emotions and expressed their opinions about the oppression of the people by the Romans. And also — words of indignation about the scribes and Pharisees poured out…
One time, Jesus came and sat down. He listened. His face was softly shining in the firelight. The silence of the night surrounded us on all sides... And only a group of people, hotly arguing about good and evil, broke this silence…
I looked at Jesus and almost didn’t even hear the words of the argument.
Then Jesus spoke, as if stopping the growing wave of accusations against the Romans for their many evils and troubles:
“You are right in many ways, my friends!
“And yet, condemnation is the wrong way! By accusing people of evil and vices, as well as by accusing people for being fanatical in their ignorance, you also run the risk of succumbing to the vice of anger!
“Evil can never defeat evil! Hate cannot conquer hate! I need to teach you to always win only by the power of love!
“It is very easy for an excited speaker to gather around himself a crowd of people who protest and who want to throw out the discontent and anger that has accumulated in them!
“But it is a lot harder to bring people together in the idea of creation, goodness, compassion, and the desire to cognize God.
“It does not require efforts to open souls up to the manifestations of discontent, irritation, and anger! Such a person as if reveals some kind of ‘plug’ that was blocking emotions — and out pours hatred!
“Sometimes it happens that the speaker specifically excites the listeners, pointing out those who should be condemned and hated... He tells people that ‘righteous anger’ is good…
Often it is because the rulers and priests control the crowd, which only needs to be told whom they should hate…
“It happened more than once that the words of Truth sounded on the Earth, but people did not hear them or did not understand... The prophets were driven off! And everything that leads to purity and kindness was rejected…
“Love and purity in themselves need to be nurtured! And this is difficult: it requires efforts!
“To see only evil in others and to blame them all — sometimes people think that it is right and fair…
“Moreover, even if the speeches of the preachers are correct, people do not always change themselves just from hearing the right words.
“But the ‘veil’ between the Creator’s world and His Creation is impenetrable for those who do not contain Love in themselves!
“Only the heart, loving meekly and sincerely, is able to overcome this ‘veil’ and cognize the One Who is Primordial, Holy, Omnipotent, and Who is the Father and Mother for everyone!
“Oh, how I wish I could teach each person to cognize the Heavenly Father with his or her open loving heart!
“Our help to people should be in awakening souls — those souls that are ready to awaken!
“Sometimes this is facilitated by miracles of healings…
“Unfortunately, perversions in the understanding of good and evil are inherent in human history…
“You’ve talked today a lot about the Romans... But... in a few more years, it will be among Romans that there will be many followers of the Teachings of the Heavenly Father that I give to you…
“Do not despise people for the youth of souls and for the wrong beliefs that have inspired them through the teachings of false teachers!
“It will be very sad if the Teachings of the Divine Love and the transformation of man-the-soul will begin to be carried out violently: through the help of bloody battles, through again sowing hatred and destructions — in order to prove, among people, their ‘superiority’ over others and the exceptional ‘holiness’ of their own rites and rituals…
“Therefore, we must now sow the seeds of true Knowledge about the Path to the Creator — through the love of the heart and purity of souls!”
“It does not always make sense to interfere with words and actions into the fate of people. But this man was already quite close to understanding the unrighteousness of his actions. And he is smart and strong enough to change his life for the better. I believe that he will make the right decisions on the day he realizes who I am and recalls this meeting... We gave him today a chance to be saved…
“A developed soul can control many processes and events in this world: both states within bodies, and events happening around. But people usually do not know this and, therefore, allow everything to happen as if by chance.
“But, if one understands that one’s advancement in the flow of life largely depends on oneself, and if this one will make efforts in the right direction, — then there will be less chaos in his or her life.”
... That meeting with the Roman soldier was the occasion for many of our conversations in our evenings around the campfire. But most of these conversations were reduced to a discussion of disasters carried out by the power of the Romans. Many disciples vented their emotions and expressed their opinions about the oppression of the people by the Romans. And also — words of indignation about the scribes and Pharisees poured out…
One time, Jesus came and sat down. He listened. His face was softly shining in the firelight. The silence of the night surrounded us on all sides... And only a group of people, hotly arguing about good and evil, broke this silence…
I looked at Jesus and almost didn’t even hear the words of the argument.
Then Jesus spoke, as if stopping the growing wave of accusations against the Romans for their many evils and troubles:
“You are right in many ways, my friends!
“And yet, condemnation is the wrong way! By accusing people of evil and vices, as well as by accusing people for being fanatical in their ignorance, you also run the risk of succumbing to the vice of anger!
“Evil can never defeat evil! Hate cannot conquer hate! I need to teach you to always win only by the power of love!
“It is very easy for an excited speaker to gather around himself a crowd of people who protest and who want to throw out the discontent and anger that has accumulated in them!
“But it is a lot harder to bring people together in the idea of creation, goodness, compassion, and the desire to cognize God.
“It does not require efforts to open souls up to the manifestations of discontent, irritation, and anger! Such a person as if reveals some kind of ‘plug’ that was blocking emotions — and out pours hatred!
“Sometimes it happens that the speaker specifically excites the listeners, pointing out those who should be condemned and hated... He tells people that ‘righteous anger’ is good…
Often it is because the rulers and priests control the crowd, which only needs to be told whom they should hate…
“It happened more than once that the words of Truth sounded on the Earth, but people did not hear them or did not understand... The prophets were driven off! And everything that leads to purity and kindness was rejected…
“Love and purity in themselves need to be nurtured! And this is difficult: it requires efforts!
“To see only evil in others and to blame them all — sometimes people think that it is right and fair…
“Moreover, even if the speeches of the preachers are correct, people do not always change themselves just from hearing the right words.
“But the ‘veil’ between the Creator’s world and His Creation is impenetrable for those who do not contain Love in themselves!
“Only the heart, loving meekly and sincerely, is able to overcome this ‘veil’ and cognize the One Who is Primordial, Holy, Omnipotent, and Who is the Father and Mother for everyone!
“Oh, how I wish I could teach each person to cognize the Heavenly Father with his or her open loving heart!
“Our help to people should be in awakening souls — those souls that are ready to awaken!
“Sometimes this is facilitated by miracles of healings…
“Unfortunately, perversions in the understanding of good and evil are inherent in human history…
“You’ve talked today a lot about the Romans... But... in a few more years, it will be among Romans that there will be many followers of the Teachings of the Heavenly Father that I give to you…
“Do not despise people for the youth of souls and for the wrong beliefs that have inspired them through the teachings of false teachers!
“It will be very sad if the Teachings of the Divine Love and the transformation of man-the-soul will begin to be carried out violently: through the help of bloody battles, through again sowing hatred and destructions — in order to prove, among people, their ‘superiority’ over others and the exceptional ‘holiness’ of their own rites and rituals…
“Therefore, we must now sow the seeds of true Knowledge about the Path to the Creator — through the love of the heart and purity of souls!”
* * *
A little more time passed by — and... something as if broke inside of me.
There was no apparent reason for that. But I... was tired of the tension of this unusual life for me: of a night’s sleep on the ground under the open sky, of walking every day between the villages, of staying many hours in the crowds listening to the speeches of Jesus... And these human crowds became more abundant…
I stopped feeling the Divine Presence as vividly as I had before.
I was so tired that I could not think of anything but... fatigue and becoming a burden to Jesus and His companions. This feeling of guilt was depressing me.
And the day came when Jesus very kindly told me that it was time for me to return home:
“Now it will be a very difficult time for all of us, and it will be better if you go back…”
... He knew already that His hour was near... And we... were still in the dark…
I began to cry with shame and sorrow, and asked Him to forgive me for not obeying and for permitting me to travel with Him... Jesus comforted me:
“Don’t worry! You’re tired! But at home, you’ll realize how much you’ve learned during these days on the road with us. And, if you try, you will know that I can be with you, near you, and in you — always!
“It will soon be very easy for you to live in God. In particular, you will learn to do anything important only after having received His direct Blessing!
“God is inevitably present always here: outside and inside the body of each of us! He is the Witness to everything that happens in our lives and in everything that we feel and think!
“It is only necessary to correlate this knowledge with your life, to accept it in your life, and to apply it in your life!
“Do you believe that little worries and fuss interfere with you at home? It’s not true! In the past, this life hurt you because you were living by the head and not by the heart!
“When God is in your heart, even among the work in the kitchen, you can be in the Silence and Bliss of His Presence!
“Don’t be sad: everything will be fine in your life! Nothing external can become a hindrance!
“And I will continue to help you to study how to gradually learn to appreciate what is significant and important, and to move away from your life what is insignificant.
“You can learn to see Me with the soul — even when My body is not next to you.
“Andrew will accompany you to your home and then catch up to us in Jerusalem.
“Do not object: it will be safe for you and good for everyone. I know it!” — Jesus said and smiled with such tenderness and affection that I almost burst into tears again.”
Then He added:
“Quite a bit of time will pass — and then we, all together, will get out of here. I will gradually take with Me you, Lazarus, and many others…
“In the meantime — gain the strength, master the life which is opened in front of you!
“I could give you My Power now, but you’re not ready to accept it yet... Power can destroy, not only create…
“Each of you will have to receive this Power — from the Heavenly Father!
“Prepare yourself for this!”
There was no apparent reason for that. But I... was tired of the tension of this unusual life for me: of a night’s sleep on the ground under the open sky, of walking every day between the villages, of staying many hours in the crowds listening to the speeches of Jesus... And these human crowds became more abundant…
I stopped feeling the Divine Presence as vividly as I had before.
I was so tired that I could not think of anything but... fatigue and becoming a burden to Jesus and His companions. This feeling of guilt was depressing me.
And the day came when Jesus very kindly told me that it was time for me to return home:
“Now it will be a very difficult time for all of us, and it will be better if you go back…”
... He knew already that His hour was near... And we... were still in the dark…
I began to cry with shame and sorrow, and asked Him to forgive me for not obeying and for permitting me to travel with Him... Jesus comforted me:
“Don’t worry! You’re tired! But at home, you’ll realize how much you’ve learned during these days on the road with us. And, if you try, you will know that I can be with you, near you, and in you — always!
“It will soon be very easy for you to live in God. In particular, you will learn to do anything important only after having received His direct Blessing!
“God is inevitably present always here: outside and inside the body of each of us! He is the Witness to everything that happens in our lives and in everything that we feel and think!
“It is only necessary to correlate this knowledge with your life, to accept it in your life, and to apply it in your life!
“Do you believe that little worries and fuss interfere with you at home? It’s not true! In the past, this life hurt you because you were living by the head and not by the heart!
“When God is in your heart, even among the work in the kitchen, you can be in the Silence and Bliss of His Presence!
“Don’t be sad: everything will be fine in your life! Nothing external can become a hindrance!
“And I will continue to help you to study how to gradually learn to appreciate what is significant and important, and to move away from your life what is insignificant.
“You can learn to see Me with the soul — even when My body is not next to you.
“Andrew will accompany you to your home and then catch up to us in Jerusalem.
“Do not object: it will be safe for you and good for everyone. I know it!” — Jesus said and smiled with such tenderness and affection that I almost burst into tears again.”
Then He added:
“Quite a bit of time will pass — and then we, all together, will get out of here. I will gradually take with Me you, Lazarus, and many others…
“In the meantime — gain the strength, master the life which is opened in front of you!
“I could give you My Power now, but you’re not ready to accept it yet... Power can destroy, not only create…
“Each of you will have to receive this Power — from the Heavenly Father!
“Prepare yourself for this!”
Chapter 8.
Andrew’s Lessons
Andrew accompanied me home. Our journey took almost a week.
I was sad that I could not continue my life and study among Jesus’ closest disciples. I was very ashamed that I had failed and that now I was distracting Andrew.
But it was only necessary to calmly accept the simple truth that my role was now much less important than the role of Jesus and His closest disciples. And that now I could safely return home, to knead dough and bake bread in the most common way, to do any work — and at the same time continue to learn to live with God in my heart, to fill the space around with love, even if such love is not as large as the love that they have…
I needed to understand for myself that this is not a tragedy, not a failure, not a fall! I just had to be strengthened in what I already knew, and understand that this would also be a significant spiritual achievement! At the same time, I now needed to live in such a way that love would fill my mouth when pronouncing words, so that my hands would touch everything with love, so that even silence, a smile, or a look — would carry affection and peace, tenderness and care!
During these days, Andrew and I became very close.
We walked and talked a lot about what was very important to us.
They were my further studies — through Andrew — from Jesus.
I learned to feel the Great Light of Jesus protecting us during our journey! I began to learn to perceive His Presence even though we were away from His body. And, after all, He was with us the entire time!
I was sad that I could not continue my life and study among Jesus’ closest disciples. I was very ashamed that I had failed and that now I was distracting Andrew.
But it was only necessary to calmly accept the simple truth that my role was now much less important than the role of Jesus and His closest disciples. And that now I could safely return home, to knead dough and bake bread in the most common way, to do any work — and at the same time continue to learn to live with God in my heart, to fill the space around with love, even if such love is not as large as the love that they have…
I needed to understand for myself that this is not a tragedy, not a failure, not a fall! I just had to be strengthened in what I already knew, and understand that this would also be a significant spiritual achievement! At the same time, I now needed to live in such a way that love would fill my mouth when pronouncing words, so that my hands would touch everything with love, so that even silence, a smile, or a look — would carry affection and peace, tenderness and care!
During these days, Andrew and I became very close.
We walked and talked a lot about what was very important to us.
They were my further studies — through Andrew — from Jesus.
I learned to feel the Great Light of Jesus protecting us during our journey! I began to learn to perceive His Presence even though we were away from His body. And, after all, He was with us the entire time!
* * *
On the one hand, I was very pleased that Andrew was with me. But, on the other hand, I sometimes had sad thoughts about the inevitable imminent separation from him, which may be forever… I was oppressed by these thoughts… They caused me a lot of suffering…
One day, as if responding to all these unspoken torments of mine, Andrew said:
“From people whom we love and believe that they also love us — we often expect the fullness of reciprocity, understanding, help, sympathy, and approval. And we are saddened by their inattention, we suffer if we do not receive the love which we want from them.
“But there is another possibility of love. It is to love, forgetting about oneself! It means to love even when there is no hope for reciprocity or for the happiness of a long marriage. It also means to love always, even if it is impossible to be physically near one’s beloved in this earthly life.
“After all, it is the unity of souls, and not of bodies, — that really matters in us — to God!
“Love that connects the flesh to the flesh is also pure and does not bear sin if it is sincere, mutual, caring, and does not even show signs of possible harm to the one whom we love.
“Through love for each other, we learn to love like that, so that we can then love — with our developed love — also God!
“Now such Unity with God is open for us! Through intense love for God — a human soul is united with Him, disappearing into His Infinity, into His Boundless Love!
“I love you, Martha, and I know that you love me. But we cannot repeat in our lives the love that is between Jesus and your sister Mary. And you should not resent me for this choice of mine in my destiny!
“This choice happened long ago, when I first met Jesus. Or rather — when He found me…”
“Tell me about it! How did you become His disciple?”
“I do not know how to tell this… He Himself called each of us.…
“We became His disciples — and for us, following Him became a completely different new life. It was as if He pulled us with roots out of our former existence — and there became only the life next to Him in the discipleship every hour, every minute — for the future Service to the Heavenly Father.
“It’s like He moved us into new destinies…
“And this ascetic life is not at all like the one that most people practice, even if they are believers and call to God.
“We lived with Him during these two years — and it was so much that this would be enough for ten ordinary lives!
“It is not for everyone… And it should not be wanted by everyone either!… Because it means throwing away everything superfluous from life and making spiritual transformation and Service not just the main thing, but the only thing in life!
“This can be described as full-devotion to God.
“We always learn — day and night.
“And, being close to Jesus, it is easy to learn to live, striving to become like Him!
“I would like to talk about my first conversation with Jesus on this subject.
“We sat together in an olive grove. I stared at Him in fascination. A soft shadow of foliage fluttered on His face, hands, and clothes. It seemed that only this play of light and shadow made His bodily appearance visible. For the great Light of the Soul broke from the Divine world and flooded all around.
“Jesus told me then:
‘I chose you. And you can be My disciple. But I must ask you: do you want to be a chosen one? Do you want to devote your whole life to the service for God-the-Father, preaching the Truth that you will learn from now on? The greatness of the feat of the spiritual life is not an easy fate… But it is this fate that awaits My companions. You can still change your mind…’
“I exclaimed:
‘To change? I did not dare to dream of such happiness — of the life with You, Jesus! Even John, who taught me, called You more than him… We all knew from John’s sermons that the Messiah would come! We wanted to see You and hear Your speeches! Is it possible to want more than to be Your companion and disciple?!’
“Jesus calmly explained:
‘But not everyone can live only for God…’
“Then He added:
‘This will be your new destiny. Will you accept it?’
“And then I saw all my future Path and accepted it from Jesus.”
… Andrew and I walked in silence for a long time… And the Great Light of the Holy Spirit embraced us with the Divine Tenderness.
One day, as if responding to all these unspoken torments of mine, Andrew said:
“From people whom we love and believe that they also love us — we often expect the fullness of reciprocity, understanding, help, sympathy, and approval. And we are saddened by their inattention, we suffer if we do not receive the love which we want from them.
“But there is another possibility of love. It is to love, forgetting about oneself! It means to love even when there is no hope for reciprocity or for the happiness of a long marriage. It also means to love always, even if it is impossible to be physically near one’s beloved in this earthly life.
“After all, it is the unity of souls, and not of bodies, — that really matters in us — to God!
“Love that connects the flesh to the flesh is also pure and does not bear sin if it is sincere, mutual, caring, and does not even show signs of possible harm to the one whom we love.
“Through love for each other, we learn to love like that, so that we can then love — with our developed love — also God!
“Now such Unity with God is open for us! Through intense love for God — a human soul is united with Him, disappearing into His Infinity, into His Boundless Love!
“I love you, Martha, and I know that you love me. But we cannot repeat in our lives the love that is between Jesus and your sister Mary. And you should not resent me for this choice of mine in my destiny!
“This choice happened long ago, when I first met Jesus. Or rather — when He found me…”
“Tell me about it! How did you become His disciple?”
“I do not know how to tell this… He Himself called each of us.…
“We became His disciples — and for us, following Him became a completely different new life. It was as if He pulled us with roots out of our former existence — and there became only the life next to Him in the discipleship every hour, every minute — for the future Service to the Heavenly Father.
“It’s like He moved us into new destinies…
“And this ascetic life is not at all like the one that most people practice, even if they are believers and call to God.
“We lived with Him during these two years — and it was so much that this would be enough for ten ordinary lives!
“It is not for everyone… And it should not be wanted by everyone either!… Because it means throwing away everything superfluous from life and making spiritual transformation and Service not just the main thing, but the only thing in life!
“This can be described as full-devotion to God.
“We always learn — day and night.
“And, being close to Jesus, it is easy to learn to live, striving to become like Him!
“I would like to talk about my first conversation with Jesus on this subject.
“We sat together in an olive grove. I stared at Him in fascination. A soft shadow of foliage fluttered on His face, hands, and clothes. It seemed that only this play of light and shadow made His bodily appearance visible. For the great Light of the Soul broke from the Divine world and flooded all around.
“Jesus told me then:
‘I chose you. And you can be My disciple. But I must ask you: do you want to be a chosen one? Do you want to devote your whole life to the service for God-the-Father, preaching the Truth that you will learn from now on? The greatness of the feat of the spiritual life is not an easy fate… But it is this fate that awaits My companions. You can still change your mind…’
“I exclaimed:
‘To change? I did not dare to dream of such happiness — of the life with You, Jesus! Even John, who taught me, called You more than him… We all knew from John’s sermons that the Messiah would come! We wanted to see You and hear Your speeches! Is it possible to want more than to be Your companion and disciple?!’
“Jesus calmly explained:
‘But not everyone can live only for God…’
“Then He added:
‘This will be your new destiny. Will you accept it?’
“And then I saw all my future Path and accepted it from Jesus.”
… Andrew and I walked in silence for a long time… And the Great Light of the Holy Spirit embraced us with the Divine Tenderness.
* * *
The next day, there was another significant event.
We passed a little spring. It was revered as sacred… Many of the sick were washed and prayed there.
I saw a woman in complete despair — a little away from everyone. She was kneeling and holding a little baby, of about a year and a half or two… She was praying to God to heal her child.…
But it was clear — even without the ability to read minds — that she had already no faith or hope…
We came closer, and I looked at the child…
I felt all the heartache of this woman!… And my desire to help became irresistible!
I went to tell her at least a few words of comfort, but I didn’t know how to begin… It seemed that the woman was so consumed with her grief that she would not be in the mood to hear stories about Jesus…
Still, I decided to say:
“I have no power to heal your child… But I know the One in Whom God’s Power is always present, the One Who heals people from incurable diseases and even raises the dead. He raised my brother Lazarus when he was already dead for four days… His name is Jesus. He heals with the Power of Divine Love — the Power of the Heavenly Father!
“Jesus is not here physically now. But He said that He — as a Soul — will always be with me and with everyone who accepts Him in their heart.
“Let’s try — and together turn to Him for help!”
The woman looked up at me. Her former silent despair had already gone away.
Andrew came up and laid hands on the child’s body. I understood that now everything would turn out alright! And I thanked Andrew, Jesus, and the Heavenly Father!
The Light of the Holy Spirit flowed and enveloped the space.
I didn’t know how long it lasted… When I began to perceive the reality of the ordinary world again — the healed child, quietly smiling, slept on the hands of the mother. And Andrew told her those ordinary words which, if understood, turn the healing into an irreversible happy outcome!
We passed a little spring. It was revered as sacred… Many of the sick were washed and prayed there.
I saw a woman in complete despair — a little away from everyone. She was kneeling and holding a little baby, of about a year and a half or two… She was praying to God to heal her child.…
But it was clear — even without the ability to read minds — that she had already no faith or hope…
We came closer, and I looked at the child…
I felt all the heartache of this woman!… And my desire to help became irresistible!
I went to tell her at least a few words of comfort, but I didn’t know how to begin… It seemed that the woman was so consumed with her grief that she would not be in the mood to hear stories about Jesus…
Still, I decided to say:
“I have no power to heal your child… But I know the One in Whom God’s Power is always present, the One Who heals people from incurable diseases and even raises the dead. He raised my brother Lazarus when he was already dead for four days… His name is Jesus. He heals with the Power of Divine Love — the Power of the Heavenly Father!
“Jesus is not here physically now. But He said that He — as a Soul — will always be with me and with everyone who accepts Him in their heart.
“Let’s try — and together turn to Him for help!”
The woman looked up at me. Her former silent despair had already gone away.
Andrew came up and laid hands on the child’s body. I understood that now everything would turn out alright! And I thanked Andrew, Jesus, and the Heavenly Father!
The Light of the Holy Spirit flowed and enveloped the space.
I didn’t know how long it lasted… When I began to perceive the reality of the ordinary world again — the healed child, quietly smiling, slept on the hands of the mother. And Andrew told her those ordinary words which, if understood, turn the healing into an irreversible happy outcome!
* * *
Later that day, I asked Andrew:
“So, you can heal, too, like Jesus, with His Power?”
“Sometimes… This ability comes gradually… When it happens, it is as if God’s Power and a confident understanding that It can be used now for good — manifest themselves from the Great Depths.
“It has happened more than once. But it does not always happen.
“Preaching to the people when God speaks in me — is easier…
“You tried it today too: so great was your desire to help and your belief that Jesus could do it without even being physically near.
“The Light of the Holy Spirit was revealed to you and gave you the Power. And I, too, was allowed to volunteer and help!”
Andrew, after a pause, continued:
“And yet, Martha, the typical ‘earthly happiness’ — is so fragile! It depends so much on external things!…
“A child is born — and it’s a happiness… A beloved one is very sick or dead — and it’s a grief… A sick person is healed — and it’s a happiness again…
“These are sources of human happiness and grief: you are loved, praised, your dreams are fulfilled — and you are happy… But if everything becomes different?
“If such a strong, at first sight, but illusory external well-being collapses, then, without reliance on the unshakable Love of God, we will not withstand the spiritual battle for the Perfection!
“In this world, one can live according to the laws of the ‘manifested’ dense material existence: among objects and events…
“But you can begin to live according to the laws of the spiritual world. Here — the possibilities are almost limitless!
“You already know that the soul can become much larger than the body. To outgrow the size of your body and fill the space, expanding more and more, — only a properly growing soul can do this. And, by so growing, such a soul can acquire both great strength and many skills.
“But it is very important that the possession of this power does not make a person evil. Unwittingly or by reason of the coarseness and impurity of the soul — there is a danger for the soul, which has great power, to reduce life to the mere use of magic for the satisfaction of personal desires.
“We sometimes think that all our desires are good. But this is not always the case…
“Therefore, it is important — before gaining powerful forces to influence the ‘manifested’ world — to strengthen one’s Unity with the Heavenly Father, to act with an understanding of His Plan. We must learn to do so in each case!
“Only when the Oneness with the Divine Wisdom and Love is mastered — is the acquisition of the Divine Power good!
“Jesus taught us:
‘Then, when the Unity with God is found, such a Divine Soul easily directs the Streams of Power for healing and for changing other external events. In the ‘manifested’ world then — everything begins to happen as if by itself, correctly, obeying the Divine Stream, creating everything from the Depths. Then the Wave of the Power of God rises — and it seems to carry us and creates everything around us with the speed that is necessary!’
“Jesus told us about this as a possible future:
‘It will soon become a natural state of life for many of you who, alone or together, will go to preach in the world. The Words from the Divine Depths, which must be pronounced by you, will easily be perceived! What you need to do at every moment — will come as an understanding! And you will learn to hear My Voice. And My Appearance will always be seen when you need advice and help!
‘It is important to remain meek and humble, so as not to begin to act as ‘I want’, for example, to exalt oneself. It is necessary to continue to fulfill only the Will of the Heavenly Father!
‘It is sad to see the arrogance in those who have decided to help others! It often occurs in people who have touched the Truth, but have not yet cognized it in its entirety, and have not been able to fully accommodate it in themselves.
‘One, who looks down on others, never succeeds in helping! This one only strengthens one’s own self-conceit, which disgraces such a one before God.
‘I teach meekness and humility, for it is the only way to make room for God’s Power in us! But the proud one — easily falls…’
“We all have to learn this! You — too, Martha!
“If Jesus had made each of us Perfect by His Power, the law of the Divine development of souls would have been broken. We all have to grow to the Perfection ourselves! And the difficulties that we face on our way are not a reason to give up, but they are only tests that make us wiser and stronger.
“God incarnates souls into bodies and gives them the strength to improve. And He gives free will to choose: what everyone wants to achieve.”
“But where is the line where one can already be sure in the correctness of one’s choice both as a whole, and when making specific decisions? Is it possible to know this? How much suffering does one have to endure from the feeling of inferiority and guilt?”
“Try not to be so hard on yourself, Martha! An excess of suffering from a sense of sinfulness and guilt binds a person and presses on him or her with too heavy a load. It does not allow one to move on!
“Perhaps it would be wrong not to feel guilty when we made a mistake. But if we accumulate such states in our memory and live with this burden, then we ourselves create unnecessary suffering.
“There is a difference between sins of ignorance — and sins which are committed knowingly and based on self-indulgence, such as lack of will, laziness, pride, envy, greed, and aggression…
“Both these kinds of sinful behavior negatively impact the destiny of a person. But they do it differently.
“When a person consciously turns away from God to evil, difficulties and temptations in his or her life become inevitable.
“When — with purity of thought — a person strives to the cognition, then, in any tests for such an ascetic, help comes from our Heavenly Father!
“Live now as if you are walking in life next to incarnate Jesus, and at every moment you can touch Him with your hand!
“Start every day not with thoughts about having to do ‘this or that’, but with love for God and for all creatures in His Creation! Out of this Love-Caring, it is easy to get power for large and small matters, without getting involved in ‘earthly’ things more than is necessary!
“You can now, by the way, teach Lazarus the new things that you have learned.
“And yet, I ask you: be careful! There are already many who want to kill you — for being a witness of the incredible miracles performed by Jesus! Now, because the rumor of Jesus has already spread in many nations, the strength of the opposition is also growing…
“We will go around many more lands in the coming months. And by Passover, we will have to return to Jerusalem. Jesus mentioned it as a meaningful time… I don’t know what He meant, but I know that it’s important, which is why I told it to you.”
… Andrew, seeing me home, did not stay at our house, and started heading back the next day.
“So, you can heal, too, like Jesus, with His Power?”
“Sometimes… This ability comes gradually… When it happens, it is as if God’s Power and a confident understanding that It can be used now for good — manifest themselves from the Great Depths.
“It has happened more than once. But it does not always happen.
“Preaching to the people when God speaks in me — is easier…
“You tried it today too: so great was your desire to help and your belief that Jesus could do it without even being physically near.
“The Light of the Holy Spirit was revealed to you and gave you the Power. And I, too, was allowed to volunteer and help!”
Andrew, after a pause, continued:
“And yet, Martha, the typical ‘earthly happiness’ — is so fragile! It depends so much on external things!…
“A child is born — and it’s a happiness… A beloved one is very sick or dead — and it’s a grief… A sick person is healed — and it’s a happiness again…
“These are sources of human happiness and grief: you are loved, praised, your dreams are fulfilled — and you are happy… But if everything becomes different?
“If such a strong, at first sight, but illusory external well-being collapses, then, without reliance on the unshakable Love of God, we will not withstand the spiritual battle for the Perfection!
“In this world, one can live according to the laws of the ‘manifested’ dense material existence: among objects and events…
“But you can begin to live according to the laws of the spiritual world. Here — the possibilities are almost limitless!
“You already know that the soul can become much larger than the body. To outgrow the size of your body and fill the space, expanding more and more, — only a properly growing soul can do this. And, by so growing, such a soul can acquire both great strength and many skills.
“But it is very important that the possession of this power does not make a person evil. Unwittingly or by reason of the coarseness and impurity of the soul — there is a danger for the soul, which has great power, to reduce life to the mere use of magic for the satisfaction of personal desires.
“We sometimes think that all our desires are good. But this is not always the case…
“Therefore, it is important — before gaining powerful forces to influence the ‘manifested’ world — to strengthen one’s Unity with the Heavenly Father, to act with an understanding of His Plan. We must learn to do so in each case!
“Only when the Oneness with the Divine Wisdom and Love is mastered — is the acquisition of the Divine Power good!
“Jesus taught us:
‘Then, when the Unity with God is found, such a Divine Soul easily directs the Streams of Power for healing and for changing other external events. In the ‘manifested’ world then — everything begins to happen as if by itself, correctly, obeying the Divine Stream, creating everything from the Depths. Then the Wave of the Power of God rises — and it seems to carry us and creates everything around us with the speed that is necessary!’
“Jesus told us about this as a possible future:
‘It will soon become a natural state of life for many of you who, alone or together, will go to preach in the world. The Words from the Divine Depths, which must be pronounced by you, will easily be perceived! What you need to do at every moment — will come as an understanding! And you will learn to hear My Voice. And My Appearance will always be seen when you need advice and help!
‘It is important to remain meek and humble, so as not to begin to act as ‘I want’, for example, to exalt oneself. It is necessary to continue to fulfill only the Will of the Heavenly Father!
‘It is sad to see the arrogance in those who have decided to help others! It often occurs in people who have touched the Truth, but have not yet cognized it in its entirety, and have not been able to fully accommodate it in themselves.
‘One, who looks down on others, never succeeds in helping! This one only strengthens one’s own self-conceit, which disgraces such a one before God.
‘I teach meekness and humility, for it is the only way to make room for God’s Power in us! But the proud one — easily falls…’
“We all have to learn this! You — too, Martha!
“If Jesus had made each of us Perfect by His Power, the law of the Divine development of souls would have been broken. We all have to grow to the Perfection ourselves! And the difficulties that we face on our way are not a reason to give up, but they are only tests that make us wiser and stronger.
“God incarnates souls into bodies and gives them the strength to improve. And He gives free will to choose: what everyone wants to achieve.”
“But where is the line where one can already be sure in the correctness of one’s choice both as a whole, and when making specific decisions? Is it possible to know this? How much suffering does one have to endure from the feeling of inferiority and guilt?”
“Try not to be so hard on yourself, Martha! An excess of suffering from a sense of sinfulness and guilt binds a person and presses on him or her with too heavy a load. It does not allow one to move on!
“Perhaps it would be wrong not to feel guilty when we made a mistake. But if we accumulate such states in our memory and live with this burden, then we ourselves create unnecessary suffering.
“There is a difference between sins of ignorance — and sins which are committed knowingly and based on self-indulgence, such as lack of will, laziness, pride, envy, greed, and aggression…
“Both these kinds of sinful behavior negatively impact the destiny of a person. But they do it differently.
“When a person consciously turns away from God to evil, difficulties and temptations in his or her life become inevitable.
“When — with purity of thought — a person strives to the cognition, then, in any tests for such an ascetic, help comes from our Heavenly Father!
“Live now as if you are walking in life next to incarnate Jesus, and at every moment you can touch Him with your hand!
“Start every day not with thoughts about having to do ‘this or that’, but with love for God and for all creatures in His Creation! Out of this Love-Caring, it is easy to get power for large and small matters, without getting involved in ‘earthly’ things more than is necessary!
“You can now, by the way, teach Lazarus the new things that you have learned.
“And yet, I ask you: be careful! There are already many who want to kill you — for being a witness of the incredible miracles performed by Jesus! Now, because the rumor of Jesus has already spread in many nations, the strength of the opposition is also growing…
“We will go around many more lands in the coming months. And by Passover, we will have to return to Jerusalem. Jesus mentioned it as a meaningful time… I don’t know what He meant, but I know that it’s important, which is why I told it to you.”
… Andrew, seeing me home, did not stay at our house, and started heading back the next day.
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